In the immortal words of famed rapper Jay-Z, No matter where you go, you are who you are player!
Whether the scandal is going on in your community or within; what happens in the dark will come to light. Mama’s all over the world, including my own, are fond of warning their children to be conscious and aware that anything that they do in private, it could possibly get out to the public. Remember, each thought and action is planting a seed and what you plant now will determine what you will reap later. Stop telling yourself that the drama you created will help get what you want. With every scandal comes a cost and oftentimes it is the high cost of dishonoring self and living a lie.
Scandal is typically defined as general surprise, shock or outrage as a result of behaviors or actions that are considered unacceptable or outside of the moral code. When the morally improper action surfaces that causes the surprise. But are you really surprised at the drama you created. What did you really think was going to happen as a result of your actions? Did you think you were going to be praised, loved, adored or did you know otherwise and just couldn't face it?
It’s time to release your judgment of others and look within yourself and your actions. Are you living your purpose, spending money improperly, not keeping the commitments you've made, afraid of taking risk, stressed out, etc. It's time to take action and clean up your drama! Here’s how.
Live your truth. Stop pretending and live the true you. There is no one else on the planet like you. There is worth in you, the individual. When you live the true expression of yourself and stop worrying about other folks, it will free you from the outside noises of stress, feelings of not being enough and frustrations of not succeeding.
Create Boundaries. You want respect. You have to earn it. By showing respect for others and honoring yourself. When you have clear boundaries your relationships are safe. Make safe zones surround gossip, what you will and will not spread. Make safe zones around drama, what you will and will not be a part of. Make decisions to interact with those who respect your boundaries. Be prepared. Your boundaries are bound to be crossed. No worries, if they are crossed, there is a consequence and you have to verbalize that. Not the head swaying, eye rolling type of verbalizing, but clear, concise communication about what is acceptable. Announce your boundaries, their consequences and say it as often as necessary. Boundaries are how you govern yourself as well also remember to check yourself!
Forgiveness. The blame game doesn't work. Only victims choose to blame. You must make a conscious choice to forgive, as well as taking the ownership of your role in the situation. Forgiveness is for your peace and liberation regardless if you are forgiving someone else or yourself. It doesn't mean you forget the action, but that you are ready to release it and move on. Martin Luther King said it best, “Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a permanent attitude.” You must be willing to begin the process and set an intention on what you want to happen in the end. Have patience. Forgiveness is not easy or quick but it is absolutely worth it.
Drama, scandals, trifling attitudes put you off the course of what you have been created to give to this world. Be extremely mindful of what you choose to get caught up in. If you find yourself in it, remember the lessons above to help you make it through. Remember, that every encounter can be lesson. Learn from it and move on to the next. Allow your heart to open up to the experience and, in time, you are bound to experience more loving kindness.
And don’t you know, you reap what you sow!