Can you pass the "Tell the Parents" test?


Can you pass the "Tell the Parents" test?
Dating someone can be hard. Finding out that she hasn't told her parents can be even harder.

If this is what’s going on with your sweetheart, then they aren’t getting unconditional love from their family which means they may not be giving it to themselves and in turn you aren’t getting it either.

There is only one way to change things. You partner must become strong enough and certain enough to proclaim their love. Only then will they be free to be themselves and ONLY then will you have an opportunity to create a truly loving partnership of your own.

If this isn’t happening, then no doubt there are other issues that you either have to uncover, or you need to honor yourself and make the hard decision to break things off.

Is there a softer course of action then calling it quits?

There might be but it means diving in and finding out what both of you need to feel safe, loved and fulfilled in the relationship. You will likely discover some major mismatches.

Just know that if you choose to continue, for this to be healthy both of you have to make sure your core needs are met. This requires a mature an emotionally intimate convertsation.

Also, be prepared because when your partner can proclaim to their family and the world:

“I am truly in love. This is the one I want to be with for now and as long as we can love and support our relationship”— you‘ll need to step up to the plate ready to be in a fully committed partnership.

If you’re in a relationship that seems not to be growing and deepening, take this “Tell the Parents” test.  

The answer to your concerns will become immediately obvious.


Article contributed by
Advanced Member

*Larry Michel*

Marriage/Couples Counselor

Come from a place of unconditional love—seek to see before you seek to be seen.

Location: Encinitas, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support, Matchmaking
Other Articles/News by *Larry Michel*:

Student Loan Turmoil: Why You Must Talk Money Before Marriage


I have a long-standing challenge to anyone who can prove to me that a relationship ended because of money. They just don't! Money is the scapegoat. The real issues underlay what is easy to point out on a financial balance sheet or a drained bank account. A recent article in the Wall Street Journal discusses student loans during marriage and after ... Read more

Are Open Relationships A Way To Divorce-Proof Your Marriage?


Science indicates we are trending to more open relationships but are these arrangements the secret to preventing divorce? A recent study by Amy Moors published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships indicated that there is a greater willingness for couples to give non-traditional sexual arrangements a try. Dr. Zhana writes, "these data ... Read more

Dreams Do Come True!


Valentines Day has become so commercialized that men and women are overcome with anxiety, stress, worry, guilt or simply avoidance of potentially not meeting the expectations of a loved one.  YIKES! And, if there is no loved one, then what? Is there something wrong with us? Are we unlovable? Unworthy? Unlucky? I’m here to declare NONE OF ... Read more

See More

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.