50 Things You Should Try For Hotter Sex

What Is Our Greatest Addiction?


What Is Our Greatest Addiction?
Sexual addiction can be a double edged sword—a mask to deeper issues or a way to deeper intimacy.

I don’t have an addictive personality. I’ve dabbled in just about everything. I’ve smoked, gambled, tried any number of substances, but I’ve never been hooked on any of them so badly that I couldn’t stop. I consider myself fortunate.

But there is one thing that is a total contradiction to what I have just professed. Sex!
I find sex to be the most intoxicating addictive activity ever. You know this if you have ever had a great lover. Starting with kissing. Have you ever had a kiss that was so sensitive, so passionate and so consuming that you forgot where you were? And how about the texture and contour of your lover’s body? Have you ever become so aware of every curve, line, crevice and the spectrum of sensitivity that you could close your eyes and travel in physical bliss through the memory? How about smells and tastes. Dare we even go there? Absolutely! And last, sacred union—those nearly indescribable moments of traveling in orgasmic co-creation, looking into each other’s eyes to the depths of your souls and breathing life into and with each other. Mmmmmmm! It’s no wonder sex can be so addictive. Who wouldn’t want that?

More from YourTango: Are Open Relationships A Way To Divorce-Proof Your Marriage?

Unfortunately, as in any addiction there is a catch. When things shift in a relationship or you discover that perhaps outside of sex there are other needs that are not being met, it can be very difficult to let go. In fact when sex is so damn good that it has become an addiction, you may go along time before you even notice other important things may be missing.

I for one don’t want to experience any less than the sexual ecstasy I described. But I also don’t want to find myself in a relationship totally dependent on sex or blind to other life and love supporting needs. After years of trial and error I think I have found the ultimate reality check for addiction and obsession versus a true loving connection.

If the intoxication is purely physical, meaning your vision, tastes and physical sensations are where your mind takes you whenever you think about your lover, then you are on the track of a sexual addict.

If on the other hand the intoxication is truly in the heart, meaning when you recall your sexual experiences you are led into those memories through your heart and not your head and the experiences of the body are secondary, now you’ve got something very real, and if returned, very beautiful and spiritual.

More from YourTango: Dreams Do Come True!

CAVEAT: If you have come out of a relationship and find yourself recalling all the amazing physical intimate moments you shared, perhaps this was a relationship that simply had to take its course, but was not the love you are destined for.

Listen to Larry talk to top experts weekly about relationships on the The Larry Love Show

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

*Larry Michel*

Marriage/Couples Counselor

Come from a place of unconditional love—seek to see before you seek to be seen.

Location: Encinitas, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support, Matchmaking
Other Articles/News by *Larry Michel*:

Are Open Relationships A Way To Divorce-Proof Your Marriage?


Science indicates we are trending to more open relationships but are these arrangements the secret to preventing divorce? A recent study by Amy Moors published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships indicated that there is a greater willingness for couples to give non-traditional sexual arrangements a try. Dr. Zhana writes, "these data ... Read more

Dreams Do Come True!


Valentines Day has become so commercialized that men and women are overcome with anxiety, stress, worry, guilt or simply avoidance of potentially not meeting the expectations of a loved one.  YIKES! And, if there is no loved one, then what? Is there something wrong with us? Are we unlovable? Unworthy? Unlucky? I’m here to declare NONE OF ... Read more

Does Compatibility Even Matter?

By , , , ,

Love at first sight doesn't always translate into a lasting love affair. Couples may discover later that they differ in everything from their energy level to their core values.  Relationship experts Larry Michel, Jacqueline Williams, Lou Paget and Mary Kay Cocharo sat down with YourTango Experts Senior VP, Melanie Gorman, to answer a pressing ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
couple argue

Emotional Vampires: Must-Know Tips For Dealing With A Narcissist

Expert Margaret Jacobson shares insights gained from Albert Bernstein's, book "Emotional Vampires".

Love: 10 Ways To Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone

10 Challenges That Will Get You Out Of Your Comfort Zone

Don't be afraid to push the envelope — you'll achieve greater happiness!

Hug Text

The "Secret" To Love And Connection: Awareness

This one is for those of you still trying to work out the secret to finding that perfect connection.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>