Great Foreplay Means More Play


Great Foreplay Means More Play
Great sex requires some degree of foreplay to get things going. What is foreplay, really?

No one could argue that a great sexual encounter requires some degree of inspiration to get things going. The catchall term for this is “Foreplay.” But what is foreplay really?

Is it words of endearment, spicy texting before you meet, a great massage, two shots of tequila, a house full of lit candles and Erotic Moods playing on the stereo, skinny dipping in a cold lake, or a playful spanking? The answer is, “All of the above and then some!”

But how do we know what works for who, how much and when? 

First, you must know the answer is NOT some hidden secret that only a few hot men and women are privy to. It’s also not the same for every man or woman. This is critically important to know because if you’ve just purchased a book, audio or video guide that promises you rock-your-world sex don’t set your expectation too high for a long fulfilling love affair. Every one of us has our own likes, needs and desires and there is no one foolproof system or technique that works for everybody.

Then what do we do to turn foreplay into more play and achieve levels of intimacy that top the charts for you and your lover?

First you need to know that energetically there are two different types of lovers. One type is called Mental Emotional Sexual Response. The other is called Physical Sexual Response. The Mental Emotional Sexual response type needs to feel deeply desired, loved and romanced. They like candle lit rooms with erotic music and an environment that allows them to feel sexually free to express themselves. Going to a movie, making a great meal, intimate conversations all light them up to be their best for you in bed. Foreplay begins BEFORE intimate physical touch. This doesn’t mean they wouldn’t enjoy a quickie on the kitchen table, but that steamy do me now behavior will not keep them happy over time. You can follow the books and audios and guess or one better you can ask them what they like.  Either way be sure to let them know how much you desire them before you lay your hands or lips on them.

The Physical Sexual Response person might like all the things described above, but when it comes right down to it, if you asked them do you need all that, they would say, “No not really… just do me!”   They respond differently than a Mental-Emotional Sexual type, and their sexuality is held inside for a partner to open them up and let them out. Erotic talk coupled with teasing touch and playful exploration will ignite their flame. They are more direct and usually speak very specifically about what they like and how they wish to be touched. The need to feel loved and respected follows.

If you are thinking well, this is easy to figure out… all men are Physical and women are Mental, you would be wrong. There are an equal amount of women who are Physical as there are men.

How do you know who’s who? There are two ways. has a rating system called MEnU that tells you instantly. Go to to check it out. You can also ask your partner what they like… a conversation that is an absolute must.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

*Larry Michel*

Marriage/Couples Counselor

Come from a place of unconditional love—seek to see before you seek to be seen.

Location: Encinitas, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support, Matchmaking
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