Everything You Need To Know About Chemistry, Part IV

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Everything You Need To Know About Chemistry, Part IV
From Fantasy to Reality – Love in the NOW

In Part I you discovered that Chemistry is a very real phenomenon that can last a lifetime, but seldom does because other relationship factors come into play. You also found out that half the population is misguided; hence one of the reasons for our ridiculously high divorce rates.

In Part II you realized that you’re hard-wired to be attracted to certain people and you can let go now of resentments, blame, guilt and shame and start with the most important first step LOVING YOURSELF.

In Part III we learned what happens when we have True or False Attractions and what we can do about it. We got a clear answer about how to decide when to have sex. And we learned that there is a big difference between fantasizing about your life versus discovering that your life far exceeds anything you could have constructed.

In Part IV you are going to find out that no matter whether your attractions are True or False, there’s a better course of action than following your chemistry, which can result in a true abiding love.

True love does not exist in our personal fantasies. It does not exist in our projections of the future, nor does it exist in the pain and suffering we hold onto from the past in the form of guilt, resentment, blame or shame.

To get into the present, into the NOW, where love is real you must start off on the right foot. Absolutely step number one begins with loving yourself. Yes, that includes every flaw you may have. Drop all your stories. Stand in front of the mirror and say hello to your BFF. Say, “I love you” and mean it. Don’t wait, do it now. Well done!

Next, and this is where most relationship experts all agree—at the beginning of a relationship, take your time. Listen carefully. Observe closely. Be careful NOT to force your potential partner into the image you want him or her to be.

DO NOT fully trust Chemistry.

If your Attractions are true it is wonderful, and it's even more amazing if your partner also has True attractions. But you MUST pay close attention when you venture into bed with each other. If you notice you have very different needs when it comes to foreplay or how you communicate and make love, you could be mismatched sexually.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

*Larry Michel*

Marriage/Couples Counselor

Come from a place of unconditional love—seek to see before you seek to be seen.

Location: Encinitas, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support, Matchmaking
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