Everything You Need To Know About Chemistry: Part III

By

Everything You Need To Know About Chemistry: Part III
Can you trust your chemistry? Find out!

Hopefully from reading Part II of this series, you're ready to shed any guilt, resentment, blame or shame about spending time with anyone. The goal of this series is to bring you a whole lot closer to true love by teaching you how to love yourself first. Now, it's time to tango! Can you trust your chemistry? Is your "picker" broken? Everything You Need To Know About Chemistry: Part I

When you are overwhelmed by chemistry, one of two things is going to happen:

 

1. You CAN trust your feelings. We will call that “True Attractions."
2. You CANNOT rely on your feelings. We will call that “False Attractions” or the "broken picker."

If your attractions are TRUE and you follow them, it is very likely that you have met someone that you can have wonderful, deep and meaningful conversations with. The experience is smooth and easy. You dissolve into a feeling of trust and connection. You enjoy each other’s playful antics and a deep feeling of trust develops. Immediately or shortly thereafter, the desire for deeper intimacy and sex escalates. Life is good so far. Except there is one problem: the connection is so powerful that if there is a sexual mismatch, you’re likely to not notice it until much later. "We Have No Chemistry": What Does He Mean?

If your attractions are FALSE and you follow them, you are driven powerfully to experience everything I just described before. Except, it’s not nearly as easy. In fact, if you could step out of your body and observe from a distance, it may actually look comical like two people attempting to stick square pegs into round holes. Unless you know better, because of the chemistry, your efforts are relentless and your desires create a fantasy that you are certain will become a reality.

It gets more complicated. If you are sexually matched, add another dozen notches of intensity to the picture. Yowza! If you are sexually mismatched, the chemistry won’t wear off but it will be counteracted by less than great sex. This is when relationships are short lived and where people often conclude that they've had sex too soon. What Jennifer Aniston & Justin Theroux's Love Is Missing

The answer to your question, “How long should I wait before having sex?” is answered. Be sure you have an energetic match along with your other relationship needs. Don’t sacrifice your needs unless all you want is a fling. Regardless of if you have true or false attractions, if you want something bad enough, it’s amazing what negative signs you’ll miss.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

*Larry Michel*

Marriage/Couples Counselor

Come from a place of unconditional love—seek to see before you seek to be seen.

Location: Encinitas, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support, Matchmaking
Other Articles/News by *Larry Michel*:

Going Through A Divorce? 5 Tips To Keep Things From Getting Messy

By

I received an email announcing an awesome conference for women contemplating or going through a divorce. I was excited to see that it included professionals experienced in family law, financial planning and counseling. This is an important combination for anyone considering ending a romantic partnership. The event looked great, and it reminding me of two ... Read more

I Found Out My Amazing Ex Was Pregnant ... On Facebook

By

My breakup did not go smoothly, and being connected with her on Facebook didn't help. Yes, I still loved her. Yes, I still wanted her in my life. Yes, I missed holding, laughing, cooking, exercising, talking to and making love with her, but she needed something else that I could not offer. That sucked, but it was undeniably true. But geez, letting go ... Read more

The Painful Truth: How Parents Enable Their Kids To Be Bullies

By

No one likes to be bullied. Yet in many ways it's a daily activity for all of us, as you soon shall see. Sexual bullying is simply an extension of generalized bullying, but it is a behavior focused upon "perceived" sexual conduct.  Part of that erroneous perception is evidenced by studies like one released in the August journal of ... Read more

See More

 
My Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular