3 Steps to Successfuly Manage Your Combined Finances

By

3 Steps to Successfuly Manage Your Combined Finances
Don’t Be Fooled Into Thinking There’s a Financial Path to Relationship Doom

Imagine what it could be like when a couple does not share the same Genetic Energetics around money.  One is laissez-faire and takes risks; the other is always obsessive, controlling or worried.  Simply being aware of their differences is 90% of what’s necessary to rectify their financial woes.

One of my clients is an active investor, both in the stock market and real estate. He is Non-conservative. His wife is Conservative. When I met them she didn’t want to know anything about his higher risk ventures because they completed unnerved her.

In their experience, when she did know about his investments she would constantly nag him for more information; so often that most of the time there was nothing new for him to share. The energy around her concern and focus was so invasive that the deals she couldn’t stop worrying about became self-fulfilling prophecies and they lost money.

He pleaded with her to let him do what he does best. She backed off and like magic they had a wonderful string of successes.  This sounds like they found a great solution, and to some degree it was. Except inside she felt left out and separated from something her husband loved to do. Her emotional resentment was building inside. When it surfaced they came to see me. Because of her disconnection other relationship issues became magnified and they had begun to question if they could stay together.

The solution came when they discovered their differences energetically. Instead of her thinking he wanted to avoid her or keep secrets from her, and him thinking she’s controlling and untrusting and just waiting for him to screw up again; they learned they are pre-wired for their logic around money and that it has nothing to do with one forcing the other to let go or take less risks. 

If you were a traditional therapist or a statistician doing a research study you would conclude, money issues are driving them apart. The deeper truth is they have an energetic disposition around money that, like their blood type, does not change.

They realized that it’s impossible to get orange juice out of apple. At this point they had a choice, let go of the relationship because of their differences and look for partners that are a better match, or appreciate and embrace the qualities and stay in the love.

These two found a solution. Her Conservative logic around money made her a great a manager of their estate. She managed the books, paid the bills, negotiated contracts, planned the travels and she enjoyed it.  He was the rainmaker and had a blast mixing high-risk ventures with conservative ones and made enough money to start contributing to a number of philanthropic ventures they both loved.  Guess who would look at the books when they considered investing in a non-profit? That’s right, she did, happily!

These two flourished instead of perished. 

This is possible for any couple. We must know the deeper truth about what we are energetically. It’s simply a matter of taking the time to responsibly examine our own financial history and beliefs. All of this combined easily takes care of a separation blamed on money.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

*Larry Michel*

Marriage/Couples Counselor

Come from a place of unconditional love—seek to see before you seek to be seen.

Location: Encinitas, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support, Matchmaking
Other Articles/News by *Larry Michel*:

I Found Out My Amazing Ex Was Pregnant ... On Facebook

By

My breakup did not go smoothly, and being connected with her on Facebook didn't help. Yes, I still loved her. Yes, I still wanted her in my life. Yes, I missed holding, laughing, cooking, exercising, talking to and making love with her, but she needed something else that I could not offer. That sucked, but it was undeniably true. But geez, letting go ... Read more

The Painful Truth: How Parents Enable Their Kids To Be Bullies

By

No one likes to be bullied. Yet in many ways it's a daily activity for all of us, as you soon shall see. Sexual bullying is simply an extension of generalized bullying, but it is a behavior focused upon "perceived" sexual conduct.  Part of that erroneous perception is evidenced by studies like one released in the August journal of ... Read more

Student Loan Turmoil: Why You Must Talk Money Before Marriage

By

I have a long-standing challenge to anyone who can prove to me that a relationship ended because of money. They just don't! Money is the scapegoat. The real issues underlay what is easy to point out on a financial balance sheet or a drained bank account. A recent article in the Wall Street Journal discusses student loans during marriage and after ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular