- Is your date a positive force in your life?
- Are you both able to disagree without having to make each other wrong?
- Are you both able to recognize that two different points of view are clashing but that neither one of you is wrong?
Look to date those who are unconditionally accepting even when they don't agree. This doesn't mean that your date might not try to talk you into their point of view but it does mean they are not trying to make you wrong or stupid.
Does your date takes responsibility for their lives?
- Is every bad thing that happened to them always someone else's fault?
- Can your date admit partial responsibility for failed relationships in their past or does he/she blame x-partner for all of the problems?
Every relationship failure has fault on both sides. Make sure your date doesn't blame others for all of their struggles. Blaming everything that happens onto others is a victim mentality. Don't date victims.
Look for these qualities in your dates and you should be able to filter out those who are not genuine but are instead putting on a good show in an attempt to win your favor. Be honest with yourself about what you notice and then be honest with your date. Pretending a problem is not a problem just to keep from hurting someone's feelings only creates more pain later. Don't make promises you can't keep and if you change your mind about something be willing to say so in a kind and constructive way.
Of course if you have a history of doing any of the behaviors mentioned above, work on yourself to remove those destructive behaviors from your life. Find a good coach or psychotherapist to help you move beyond dysfunctional relationship behavior.