Mirror, Mirror: What Gay Men Can Learn From Snow White


Mirror, Mirror: What Gay Men Can Learn From Snow White [EXPERT]
7 things that Snow White can teach gay men about relationships!

Gay men: almost all of you grew up with an absent father; a father who could not deal with your sexual orientation and thus emotionally and psychologically abandoned you, just like Snow White's father. For most of us, our father's own homophobia and cultural norms regarding masculinity kept them away from us and our mother's intuitively tried to fill the void. As a result, we have too much feminine energy out front and our masculine energy tends to be stunted. Is it any wonder you can't find an intimate, healthy and happy relationship with another man? Where are your gay male role models? Advice: My Son Just Came Out Of The Closet

It's our masculine energy that helps us confront the critical voice of the evil queen. It's the masculinity that can allow for the rage stored up from childhood to be felt, expressed and let go of in appropriate ways. It's also what can shut down that evil critic that is always trying to convince us that we are not good enough. "If only I had a better body, if only I had liposuction, if only my hair was better, if only I had a better car, if only I made more money, if only my home was akin to the ones in the magazines and movies, then I'd be whole." It is our masculine energy that can shout this down the evil critical queen and say, "No! I am good just as I am and none of those things will make me a better person then I am right now!"


In Snow White, the Prince eventually comes along and kisses Snow White, waking her from her coma. The Prince represents our evolving consciousness, our awakening to our own true nature and basic goodness, a quality that is unconditional and always available. In other words, it is the evolution to the revelation that "I know I am a good person even without any external validation." When we awaken to our own true nature, we no longer need to date guys that validate our fragile and artificial sense of who we are. We are free to find a man who meets us in that place of intimacy and meaningful connection. Gay Relationship Compatibility—Am I Attracted To You?

As the great Sufi mystic and poet Rumi said: "Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing
 there is a field. I will meet you there." This field is the field of meaningful and unconditional love, the field of intimacy and loving connection. It is not based on surface conditions, looks, money, power or fame.

Last but not least, in the Snow White story there are many small animals that try to help Snow White and warn her of danger and guide her through her journey. Their voices are small and they don't have the power to push her in any particular direction. These quiet voices of the animals represent the voices of our own intuition; the still quiet voice within that comes from that deeper, creative and non-intellectual wisdom that each of us possesses if we are willing to be still and listen. In fact, none of us reaches the mature, truly intimate and vulnerable place that allows for the love relationship that all human beings strive for until we embrace and listen to our own intuitive wisdom. 6 Coolest Gay Celebrity Dads

So what does Snow White teach us about how to do relationships?

1. Do your own inner work. Confront the evil queen step-mother within and don't let her run your life.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Your Denver Counseling Larry Cappel, M.A. LMFT


I'm an educator. The subject I teach how is:

Living in the world on the world's terms with balance, calm, patience and serenity.

Are these qualities that you value in your life? If so and you've run into a wall that you can't figure out how to get around then I'm here to help. Call me, email me, or simply schedule your own appointment online now. My passion is to helping people to embrace their true nature and to create a loving, successful and wonderful life for themselves and their loved ones. Change is possible. Transform your life into the life you’ve always dreamed of! Don’t wait another day!


Location: Denver, CO
Credentials: LMFT, MA, MFT
Specialties: Abuse / Survivors of Abuse, ADD/ADHD, LGBT Issues (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender)
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