The popular band The Clash once had a hit song titled "Should I Stay Or Should I Go?" In my practice as a relationship coach and couples counselor, it is one of the most common things I get asked when a new client comes through the door or the internet to see me. They arrive pretty much at their wits' end because everything they've tried in attempt to fix their relationship hasn't worked.
For one reason or another, they don't feel they can talk to their spouse about how they feel. Conflicted, they come to see me to to try to sort it out. One thing is decided for sure: there has to be change or they're gone! What kind of change is necessary or viable is up to the couple and to the person in pain.
Back to The Clash. Some telling lyrics in their song can give us a little insight into this issue: "This indecision's bugging me / If you don't want me, set me free / Exactly whom I'm supposed to be..."
This is exactly the problem. The partner that came to see me is finding that he or she can't be who they are — and stay in the relationship. Their soul is dying and they feel they need to get out! Keep reading here to learn what to do
Larry Cappel has been doing couples counseling since 1999. He is a licensed marriage and family therapist. He can be reached through his website if you'd like to talk about any aspect of your relationship.
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