Adversity—Brooke received 3 lemons rather than the 12 that she needed for her dinner party.
Belief—Brooke believes that Gary is "worthless." He's not helpful and does not listen to her needs. Gary does not seem to really care about me as a human being because he did not bring me 12 lemons. Fighting Over The Little Things
Consequence—Brooke and Gary get into a fight about the lemons. They continue to have fights about small annoyances that occur.
Dispute—Brooke realizes that her initial belief was not a healthy one and disputes it. Gary did take his time to go to the store and purchase the lemons. His heart was in the right place. This is a minor error that he made and not the end of the world. It was simply a misunderstanding. Gary had a long day at work and still made the effort to stop at the store for lemons.
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It is often the small annoyance that can turn into big, blow up fights. One person may feel like his or her needs are not being met when these adversities occur. No human being is perfect all the time! By changing our beliefs about situations that occur, we can start having a more positive, healthy relationship. Next time your spouse buys the wrong kind of milk at the store, remember to use the REBT method!