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Emotional Dependency: Feeling Good When Feeling Bad

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Self

Making choices based on your of self-acceptance, self-honor, emotional clarity and inner truth

Making choices based on your of self-acceptance, self-honor, emotional clarity and inner truth

When you are living the dreams, ambitions, and life models that belong to your parents, teachers, or partners, you live according to what you think is expected of you. It creates stress and imbalances in your body, mind, and spirit, affecting all general aspects of your life.

A state of emotional, mental or physical imbalance, experienced over a substantial period (even for a month or so) eventually becomes our second nature.

When you are living the dreams, ambitions, and life models that belong to your parents, teachers, or partners, you live according to what you think is expected of you. It creates stress and imbalances in your body, mind, and spirit, affecting all general aspects of your life.

A state of emotional, mental or physical imbalance, experienced over a substantial period (even for a month or so) eventually becomes our second nature. As we internalize our tribal dos, shoulds and do nots, our body/mind system identifies with these demands and changes our priorities according to other people’s needs and desires instead of following our own inclinations. We create an illusion of comfort through helping others, while a deep inner resentment and eventually a bottomless un-satisfaction begins to build up disrupting the graceful flow in our relationships.

Even if we have the best childhood and the most loving, attentive parents, we still experience the moments of shame or guilt and emotional manipulation during our first, most important years of development. Every critical interaction, every moment we feel that we are not living up to our parents’ expectations makes us a bit less confident and promotes the habit of pleasing others in order to prove our self-worth and experience acceptance and love. As we go through schooling, marriage, and raising our own children, we emanate these lower vibrations of fear, concern, and self-doubt. We start to worry about kids, or complain about life to people whom we love because these behaviors were the modeled ways to express love and compassion in our families.

Do you feel supported and cared for by the closest people in your family or by your romantic partners?
Are you taking your true Valentine to dinner or are you stuck with somebody that makes you feel insecure and worried just as your father (mother) did?
Do you like yourself when you are with your partner or you feel just the way you felt with your father (mother) and could never figure out how to please him(her)?

Lacking true, unconditional love and genuine interest in our lives, we look for people that may fulfill our need for inner safety and acceptance. Mistaking this need for a true love, we create all kinds of co-dependent relationships that remind us of our family of origin or reflect our own state of neediness. Even though these relationships keep us unbalanced, unhealthy and unhappy, they provide us with a familiar environment that we have learned to navigate.

What happens when your dialogue escalates in just a few minutes?
What drives you into states that are not only unpleasant, but also have long-term implications?
What makes you scream and cry while talking to the people you love the most?

Whatever drives you into a conflict-based conversation is often behavior or belief that has been modeled by your parents, spouses, or society at large. Eventually, this type of interaction becomes a norm and this way of being grows to be your own pattern. Your body becomes dependent on the level of stimulation that the conflict energy gives you. Why the heat during your conversation rises and your good intentions die in a conflict you did not mean to create? When people generate situations where there is no way out or they find the way to pick fights regularly, they are looking for pressure that allows them to interact more. This exhilarating rush makes them want to continue arguing and finding new hooks to engage their partners into a process through which they are getting internally stimulated.

The conflict, though unpleasant, may satisfy your dependency on the familiar chemicals released within your body while you are feeling lost, unheard or guilty. If you or your partner are addicted to these feelings, the fight helps create much-needed stimulant that paradoxically helps you feel better when you are really feeling worse. Becoming aware of these tendencies is one of the major steps in self-recovery and change that will allow your inner pharmacy to produce sustaining chemicals like endorphins to support your

The more we allow ourselves to be a part of and co-create this type of environment, the more we become dependant on the energy produced by the conflict we create. This behavior forms a pattern, or habit to be charged by the energy of an argument. This need carries itself over to other areas of our lives. We subconsciously begin to seek activities and relationships that require additional pressure, struggle, and drama. We become reliant on the sensations created by this chemical over-production in our system, and our inner pharmacy starts working over-time to support our need for this emotional drug.

The Solar Plexus which is the emotional center in a body is one of the major driving forces behind these actions. This is the center of self-acceptance, self-honor, and self –worth. It is where we feel a deep emotional guidance regarding our relationships and situations that are difficult to resolve. It gives us positive ideas of how to live a life of connection and love. We often do not recognize the simple truth of the Solar Plexus; any feeling is just a feeling. It allows you to really know what is out there by measuring your environment with your emotional barometer and making your choices based on your emotional clarity and truth.

I am passionate about empowering women to find yourself and then find a relationship they desire. Email me at Lana@energy4action.com or all me at 847 414 3730 for your FREE CONSULTATION. It will help you step out of the vicious circle of living NOT-SELF life and start financing relationships that are important to YOU.

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