Should You Start With The Ending?


Should You Start With The Ending?
What if when dating we approached every situation with how we would want our relationship to end?

About a month ago I saw a quote that really impacted me, which doesn't happen very often.  It was so simple, yet instantly started my mind-a-reeling and I knew that at some point I would want to share it.  It goes something like this.



"Start things the way you want them to end."

Ok.....Mind.  Blown.

Let this marinade for a second and think with me....what if we started living life following this idea?  How would it impact your life and relationships?

What if when we were out there meeting people we approached them with how we would want our relationship to end?   If love at the ending looks like a beautiful, happy, healthy relationship filled with trust, respect, open communication and silly, playful happiness, what  if we entered every situation with trust, respect, open communication and silly, playful happiness?  Are you picking up what I am throwing down?

Too many times we are so beaten and battered from past relationships we are walking around with such big walls that we are waiting for people break them down.  Prove to us that they deserve our love and trust.  But walking around with that lack of trust and respect is never going to lead you towards love.  It is starting with a place of fear and where it starts is where it will end.

If we were able to share our mistakes, passions, ridiculousness and quirks as the incredible, perfectly-flawed human beings that we actually are with new people, we would be starting with a place of love in ourselves.  Trusting ourselves enough that we will let the right people in who will love and embrace all of those qualities.  That is where beautiful love, and relationships, can start and end.

In case you are trying to figure out what embracing this idea would look like, here is a thought.

Go into every situation with the belief that it is our strongest human need to want to connect with others and that everyone out there is trying to do that too.  Even if they aren't always really good at it, they are doing the best that they can.  Don't give them and the outcome of the situation so much power, since they are probably just as nervous as you.  The more you can breathe, smile and relax, the more they can too.  That is where both of you can let the walls down and just connect.  No one looking for a healthy relationship is looking for perfect, just real.  

Your Adventure for Today:

What could you begin doing differently when meeting new people to start things the way you want them to end?  What mindset would you choose?  How would you act?  How would you feel?  

What do you think?  Share in the comments.


This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Kira Sabin

Dating Coach

Meet love halfway.

Kira Sabin


Talk to me grasshopper.

Location: Madison, WI
Credentials: CPC
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support
Other Articles/News by Kira Sabin:

In A Dating Rut? Try The Scavenger Hunt Of Awesomeness!


It all started one night in Acapulco….shouldn't all stories start like that? I was working on cruise ships and having an overnight in port was a rarity. To make sure we didn't waste the experience, my friend Derek and I put $200 in our back pocket and proceeded to create a checklist of challenges (aka a scavenger hunt) that we wanted to ... Read more

Why You Are Not Dating Great Guys


It took me a long time... but there was finally a time after the therapy/coaching and hitting my head against the wall so many times I thought I had a permanent concussion from dating unavailable men, that something shifted in me. One day, I woke up and didn't want that crap anymore and I had to have a tough moment where I needed to fess up to ... Read more

Are You Too Intimidating For Love?


So, I had a first love. I am guessing at some point we all do.   Today isn’t about the magic of that first love or those slow/fast moments in the beginning, when I was so excited and crazy about someone that I felt like I was sick to my stomach pretty much the whole time.   Or when I couldn’t concentrate on the movie just ... Read more

See More

Latest Expert Videos
Most Popular