Dating With Confidence


Dating With Confidence

Rule number two: Know Your Strengths.  When clients come to my office looking for a match, they usually bring me a laundry list of what kind a man or woman they want and what they must have.  It’s great to think about the kind of partner you would like and the qualities they must have but it’s more important to understand who you are first.  Instead of focusing on the man, focus on YOU.  I tell my clients to write a list of all the things they are good at in their profession, personality traits, what they offer in a relationship, physical traits, etc.  Also, once you know what you like about your body, buy new clothes that accentuate your positive assets and walk into the date with your new sexy look.  This can be challenging for a lot of people, but I find once people recognize their own strengths, getting what they want is a lot easier.  This exercise also helps you come from a place of confidence so that when you are feeling anxious and uneasy about dating you think of all the fantastic qualities you have and the insecurities go away.  Knowing your strengths and accomplishments will also assist you in getting clarity on who deserves you!

Rule number three:  Have Fun!  It sounds so simple but letting go of the urgency of finding that perfect partner and interviewing hundreds of men on dates can be freeing and make dating fun.  Avoid interrogating the guy on your first date a hundred questions to see if he meets your criteria for marriage.  Instead laugh, share stories, be light, be feminine and ignite the chase and create intrigue and mystery.  Make him want more by showing the fun, playful side of you so that you can get to the second date.  You are not jumping into a relationship with anyone on a first date or meeting so just kick back and have fun.  You’ll have plenty of time to get to know him if he is the right one.

Of course there are so many other ways to gain dating confidence and discover the right partner.  But the whole point is to slow down and take baby steps until you feel you are in condition to run the marathon.  Pace it out, love who you are and have fun and you WILL get to the finish line!

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Kimberly Seltzer

Dating Coach

Think Hitch meets What Not To Wear.  That's me. Whether it's putting on a new pair of shoes, watching you flirt with a guy in a grocery store or matching you, it's all about feeling good about yourself so you can attract that right person and opportunities in your life!  Sign up for my free Body Type booklet and newsletter at and connect with me at

Location: Beverly Hills, CA
Credentials: LCSW
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