6 Love Lessons For Katie Holmes During Her Divorce

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6 Love Lessons For Katie Holmes During Her Divorce [EXPERT]
It's natural to be angry during a divorce. The important thing is learning to let go.

Put your ex's photo on a dart board and take aim, hit a punching bag, rip up any photos you have of him or write an angry letter to your ex-husband and then rip it up without sending it to him. Then, on your Forgive My Ex-Husband Day, put the brakes on any angry behavior.

2. Realize you don't wear anger well. Perform an experiment: stand in front of the bathroom mirror and start talking about your ex-husband. Pretend you're telling a friend about how angry you are at him. Look at the expression on your face as you're talking about him. Do you look attractive? Probably not. There's nothing pretty about anger; it looks more like a charging rhino than a beautiful rose.

Now, stand in front of the mirror and talk about something you love to do such as a hobby you're passionate about. How does your face look now? Chances are good you look a lot more beautiful and a lot more pleasant to be around than when you were talking and thinking about your ex.

When you see for yourself how the anger transforms you into something you really don't want to be, it will encourage you to let those bitter feelings go. This is especially important as you begin dating after divorce and want to look and feel your best. 10 Post-Divorce Life Lessons

3. Learn that good men are out there. When you're angry at your ex-spouse it's not hatred without borders. The hatred will seep into other relationships you have with men. When you begin dating again, it will show up in your online dating profile when you say things like "I'm looking for a man who doesn't play games." Or when you mention how tired you are of men who are dishonest.

The more you mention what you don't want and how distrusting you are of men, the more you're going to scare away the truly good ones. Good men, the emotionally mature kind who will treat you right and who are willing to resolve conflict, don't want women who come with baggage.

If you believe that just because your ex-husband hurt you all men will hurt you, find proof good men are out there. Volunteer at a non-profit or become more involved in church activities so that you can observe kind behavior of the opposite sex. Notice the unique personalities of the men you encounter so that you can understand that all men really aren’t the same in every way. Spend more time with female friends who have been married a long time so that you can restore your faith that true love is possible.

At the same time, avoid hanging out with any man-bashing female friends. Foster new friendships with women who are upbeat, positive, happy, and who genuinely like men. Attend self-growth workshops where you can meet positive people and discover ways to restore your faith that there are good guys out there.

Article contributed by

Kimberly Pryor Wilkes

Author

Kimberly Pryor

Host of The Rebuilding Your Life After Divorce Mountain Retreat

Author of The Indestructible Relationship

Location: Gardnerville, NV
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support, Divorce/Divorce Prevention
Other Articles/News by Kimberly Pryor Wilkes:

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