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Dating After Divorce? 3 Pitfalls To Avoid

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Dating After Divorce? 3 Pitfalls To Avoid [EXPERT]
Got baggage? No problem!
Are you newly single? Learn to side-step these 3 dating blunders!

Another question to ask: Am I happy alone even without a man in my life? If the answer is yes, then you're ready to get involved in a new relationship. But if the only reason you're getting involved in a new relationship is because you can't stand to be alone, then your new relationship may indeed be a rebound relationship. As you heal from your divorce and think about the lessons you learned from it, your new relationship can be transformed from a rebound relationship to a real relationship, as long as it's based on more than just physical attraction. Single & Ready To Mingle? 5 Places To Meet Local Men

3. Unintentionally holding onto baggage. None of us are blank sheets of paper. We have all been hurt in the past. The key is to find ways to release the baggage so it doesn't get stuck inside of you. In fact, much of the time, you're probably not even aware of your baggage.

More from YourTango: 4 Tips Hurricane Sandy Teaches Us About Relationships

It's time to start having an internal dialogue with yourself. Did you spend enough time alone after your divorce to really think about what caused the collapse of your marriage? While your ex-husband likely played a part, did you have any destructive habits? Blame is one of the most common destructive habits I've seen in couples. Divorced & Dating? Why You Haven't Met Mr. Right

We want to blame our significant others for the way we feel. But our emotions have our nametags on them. We own them. Rather than telling our partners "You're making me angry," it's much better to say, "When you did X, Y, or Z, I didn't feel so good. I felt really uncomfortable."

More from YourTango: 6 Love Lessons For Katie Holmes During Her Divorce

Whether it's avoiding blame or any other relationship-sabotaging factors, is there anything you could do differently in a new relationship to stop it from going the way of your marriage? It's only when you answer this question that you can say goodbye to your baggage and hello to a wonderful new relationship.

Article contributed by

Kimberly Pryor

Author

Kimberly Pryor

Host of The Rebuilding Your Life After Divorce Mountain Retreat

Author of The Indestructible Relationship

Location: Gardnerville, NV
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support, Divorce/Divorce Prevention
Other Articles/News by Kimberly Pryor:

4 Tips Hurricane Sandy Teaches Us About Relationships

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Hurricane Sandy is the poster child for how stress damages your relationship. When it blew its way up the East Coast, it did more than destroy homes and businesses. Its aftereffects are still being felt in many relationships — especially now that the storm is over. This because stress can often be as harmful to a relationship as infidelity. In fact, you ... Read more

6 Love Lessons For Katie Holmes During Her Divorce

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The latest report on Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise is that they've agreed not to say anything derogatory about each other for the sake of their daughter Suri. Stevie Wonder and his soon-to-be ex wife, Kai Millard Morris, also seem to have an amicable split so far. /node/158028 Both of these divorces are in sharp contrast to the Paul McCartney and Heather ... Read more

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