Reasons why men and women find it a challenging to relate with each other.
The biggest reasons men and women find it a challenge relating with each other are - in large part - due to our many differences and lack of quality, in depth information available to you.
With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, I thought you would enjoy a 5 Part Series I created: Beyond Mars & Venus – The TRUTH About Men and Women. I’ll be sharing this series all week in celebration of this special day of love!
And today, we’re kicking it off with the topic: Communication
You would think in this technologically advanced world we live in and with all the other ways the world is moving forward that it would be easy for women and men to have equally advanced communication skills. But this is so not the case, right?
Sure, when you’re talking to someone who is the same sex as you it’s a piece of cake. As soon as it’s the opposite sex, everything seems to fall apart. You thought you were clear about what you said to your date, boyfriend/girlfriend so why do they get so upset?
There are 2 simple reasons for this.
1) Women speak in a Secret Language
2) Men keep missing this Secret Language
Here’s a simple example to illustrate this…
Jennifer’s walking with her boyfriend David along the street and notices a beautiful leather jacket in the store window. Jennifer suddenly comments to David “Wow, it’s really cold out”. David turns to her and agrees “Yeah, hard to believe for this time of year”. Jennifer looks down, sighs heavily and continues walking. David thinks it’s kinda weird that the cold weather would make Jennifer sad and starts to look for the nearest Starbuck’s so he can get her a coffee to warm up, hoping that will make her happy.
If you’re a woman reading this, you might be laughing. If you’re a man, you’re probably trying to figure out my point. Let me explain….
When Judy commented on the weather, what she was really saying is “What a beautiful jacket, let’s go inside so I can try it on!” Now men, please don’t get mad at women for doing this. There’s actually some pretty unfortunate reasons why women don’t feel powerful enough (even in this day and age) to just come right out and tell you what they need. That kind of information is reserved for my workshops, but for our purpose here today let me introduce you to the world of Hints & Innuendos.
Hints & Innuendos are a safe way for women to express to men that they have an interest in something. For men, understanding this secret language can be extremely difficult, but it’s one of the most valuable skills worth developing if you are interested in making the women in your life feel happy around you.
For women, I know you don’t do this intentionally and I also know that you would LOVE men to know what you need, want and desire. However, the only way they will know this is if you tell them. If you’ve been on my list for awhile and still think men will one day be able to read your mind, I want to let you know nothing has changed and men will never have this ability – ever.
So how can YOU start to bridge the communication gap in your own world starting today?
Below I’m giving an exercise that each gender can practice all this week to start making changes right away.
Exercise for Women
All this week, notice when you’re about to use your Secret Language (hint or innuendo) and turn it into a specific request instead. For example, you and a male co-worker are just about to go for lunch and he can’t decide on where to go. Instead of saying “I heard there’s a new Joey’s that’s opened up”, tell him instead “Let’s go to Joey’s!”. It’s a subtle, but has a man hear you much easier. It leaves no question about what you want.
Exercise for Men
All this week, start to really pay attention to what women are saying when they talk. When a woman mentions a new restaurant, lingerie store, casually mentions the title of a movie trailer that looked good etc…know that she is speaking her Secret Language. She is communicating something that she wants! Once you hear a hint or innuendo, start to get comfortable acting on it. For example, simply turn it into a question. It’s as easy as saying “Would you like to see/ go to/ have dinner at _____________?” (fill in the blank).
Practice this at work, with friends on dates or wherever you’re in the company of the opposite sex.
Feel Like You're In a Dating Jungle? Grrr… So Frustrating! Sign Up To Receive Your FREE:
5 Part Audio Series "The 5 Essential Steps For Dating Success"
Do you have questions for Kim? Leave a Comment Below.