Ask Kim: “Who should say I love you first?”

By

Ask Kim: “Who should say I love you first?”
The thing is, using this same business type approach does not work within a man/woman dynamic –

The truth is, if he’s doing all the things I described above and more, he most likely does. However, I firmly insist you do NOT say I love you first. Why? Because he’s probably very much in his processing phase – and you never poke a bear (or a man!) when their in the cave.

A man needs to work through each question/doubt triggered (mostly about his ability to make you happy) so he feels confident sharing he loves you verbally – and means it. When you say it first, it disrupts his process – much like waking a bear in hibernation – and will push him away.

Also, you’ll notice if you said this first with other men in the past, it didn’t feel very natural, right? That’s because you immediately become the “pursuer” – instead of the feminine “receiver” you’re meant to be!

Now, if you’ve been dating for 4 months or more, I definitely recommend sitting down and having a conversation. Please note I said “conversation” not “ultimatum”. Your approach and energy should be with an open mind and heart – remaining unattached to the outcome.

Here’s a first class way to start a conversation like this:

“Tom, I really enjoy the time we spend together and all the wonderful things you do for me (mention some specific things here). I’m noticing I’ve got some strong feelings developing for you, so thought this might be a good time for us to check in and see if we’re on the same page as far as our life plans etc…– would you be open to that?”
Hope this helps Tanus and SO happy for you – you deserve it!

Feel Like You're In a Dating Jungle? Grrr… So Frustrating! Sign Up To Receive Your FREE:
5 Part Audio Series "The 5 Essential Steps For Dating Success"

Do you have questions for Kim? Leave a Comment Below.
 

This article was originally published at Attract Your King. Reprinted with permission from the author.

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB