We all dream of having our ideal home, ideal man and unlimited funds in our bank account, and then can’t figure out why it’s not manifesting. What you might be surprised to know what’s really keeping you stuck is a fear of having it all.
We have such a fear of having it all, that we’ll often create situations to ensure there’s at least ONE area of our life that doesn’t work. Love life, money – we’ll unconsciously create scarcity in one or more areas to prevent us from fully having everything we want.
I coach lots of successful women who have everything – except their ideal man. I also know women who have an ideal man, but are always struggling with money. Their unconsciously keeping ONE area not working – like a “go to” default that keeps them from fully moving forward in their life.
I know it sounds crazy, but if you really check in with yourself, you can easily see one or two areas where this shows up in your own life.
I was just supporting a business client recently with this very issue. She’s starting a business for the first time. She’s excited, motivated and a naturally disciplined woman. Suddenly – out of the blue – she noticed she was procrastinating, stalling, making excuses and not getting the things done she knows she needs to do to move her new business forward.
As we worked together, she realized she could FEEL how easy it was going to be to create success and it will manifest fairly quickly. And, this was freaking her out. She’ll be able to finally “have it all” – working less, making more money then she ever did in her corporate job – and experiencing an ease and freedom in her life she’s wanted for years. So, she went to “default” behaviour to slow that possibility down – as fast as she could!
This also shows up a lot when new clients want to work with me. They’ve spent years struggling and in deep pain with men, money or their business. Their over-the-moon to finally release the pain and come through my one of my programs – then use money as an excuse to not move themselves forward. When, in fact, it’s not about the money at all – it’s about their fear of having it all.
If they release their “default” – the ONE area that never works – then they might end up having everything they want. I never have any judgment about it; it’s just always interesting to observe how easily people put up barriers to avoid stepping into their magnificence.
If you think about it, fear of having it all is actually a form of scarcity. If you’re afraid of having it all, the polar opposite to that is LOSING it all. So many times women confide they’re afraid to get into a relationship because they’ll “lose” him (or themselves) in the relationship. So they never get their love life off the ground.
The same thing shows up when I coach women with healing their money stories. They have an unconscious fear if they make more money, they’ll lose it all. They’ll get used to living a certain lifestyle and suddenly go bankrupt or some other drop of income will occur.