We have such a fear of having it all.
We all dream of having our ideal home, ideal man and unlimited funds in our bank account, and then can’t figure out why it’s not manifesting. What you might be surprised to know what’s really keeping you stuck is a fear of having it all.
We have such a fear of having it all, that we’ll often create situations to ensure there’s at least ONE area of our life that doesn’t work. Love life, money – we’ll unconsciously create scarcity in one or more areas to prevent us from fully having everything we want.
I coach lots of successful women who have everything – except their ideal man. I also know women who have an ideal man, but are always struggling with money. Their unconsciously keeping ONE area not working – like a “go to” default that keeps them from fully moving forward in their life.
I know it sounds crazy, but if you really check in with yourself, you can easily see one or two areas where this shows up in your own life.
I was just supporting a business client recently with this very issue. She’s starting a business for the first time. She’s excited, motivated and a naturally disciplined woman. Suddenly – out of the blue – she noticed she was procrastinating, stalling, making excuses and not getting the things done she knows she needs to do to move her new business forward.
As we worked together, she realized she could FEEL how easy it was going to be to create success and it will manifest fairly quickly. And, this was freaking her out. She’ll be able to finally “have it all” – working less, making more money then she ever did in her corporate job – and experiencing an ease and freedom in her life she’s wanted for years. So, she went to “default” behaviour to slow that possibility down – as fast as she could!
This also shows up a lot when new clients want to work with me. They’ve spent years struggling and in deep pain with men, money or their business. Their over-the-moon to finally release the pain and come through my one of my programs – then use money as an excuse to not move themselves forward. When, in fact, it’s not about the money at all – it’s about their fear of having it all.
If they release their “default” – the ONE area that never works – then they might end up having everything they want. I never have any judgment about it; it’s just always interesting to observe how easily people put up barriers to avoid stepping into their magnificence.
If you think about it, fear of having it all is actually a form of scarcity. If you’re afraid of having it all, the polar opposite to that is LOSING it all. So many times women confide they’re afraid to get into a relationship because they’ll “lose” him (or themselves) in the relationship. So they never get their love life off the ground.
The same thing shows up when I coach women with healing their money stories. They have an unconscious fear if they make more money, they’ll lose it all. They’ll get used to living a certain lifestyle and suddenly go bankrupt or some other drop of income will occur.
If you’re afraid of LOSING it all (whatever it might be) it’s a big clue you have a belief running “there’s not enough. Scarcity or “lack” energy is the most common story clients have activated when it comes to love and money – there’s not enough men available or not enough money to have what I want.
So, how can you release scarcity thinking and powerfully activate Having it All?
Obviously, a strong, lifetime pattern like this isn’t a quick fix and can’t happen overnight. However, here are some guidelines to get you started:
1) Where is an area of my life I tend to “default” to when everything else is going well? Maybe everything’s going well with your business, and then your love life tanks. Or, maybe you finally paid off all your bills, then your pet gets sick. Check in and see the ONE thing that always pops up.
2) “Am I WILLING to give myself permission to have it all?” Check in first and see if you’re truly willing to release your pattern of going to your default. Be honest and resist judging yourself – it’s ok if you’re not ready yet. If you are ready, go to Step 3.
3) What next action step can I take? You can’t just wish or think a limiting pattern away – you must take action so you can shift the energy and also show the Universe you mean business. What’s a big or small step you can take that will get you moving in the direction you want to go.
Do you have questions for Kim? Leave a Comment Below.