Perhaps you can look at everything in the entirety of this person and decide you can accept the addiction. I once worked with a woman whose husband drank two six-packs of beer every night after work. He didn’t drink and drive or spend his time in bars, but rather, he drank in his workshop. He wasn't an angry or mean drunk but went to work every day slowly killing himself because his liver was in trouble.
She tried everything she could think of to change him and nothing worked. Finally, she decided to accept it because she didn't want to leave him. She loved him and was happy with him as a husband and their relationship was good. However, she was scared he was going to leave her an early widow. She didn't like his addiction, but she decided to accept it and to stop nagging him about his drinking. This greatly improved their relationship, and consequently he drank less. He still drinks but not nearly as much as before and his liver is still in trouble. Top 10 Tips For Building Loving Relationships
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3. Your final option is to leave. People tend to leave in one of two ways; they may leave mentally or physically. Mental leaving means you physically stay in the relationship but you are not invested in it. You are basically just going through the day-to-day motions.
When you decide to physically leave, it should be for the right reasons. You shouldn't use leaving as your leverage to get him to stop his addiction. That is a dangerous behavior for the reasons mentioned earlier because when you do choose to leave, it should be because you can no longer stand by and watch your loved one self-destruct. You are placing your own happiness first and have accepted the reality of the situation. You no longer want to be a bystander to it. Ending Relationships Gracefully
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If you are in a relationship with someone who has an addiction and you want help, check out the resources at The Relationship Center and join our mailing list.