Could Your Relationship Survive The 'Oscar Curse'?


Hilary Swank Chad Lowe
Hilary Swank's marriage to ex-husband Chad Lowe did NOT survive the curse. Could yours?
Four ways to make a relationship last despite an imbalance of professional success.

The Oscar nominations are out, inevitably leaving some nominees wondering whether they will fall victim to the so-called, "Oscar curse": the breakup of a marriage or relationship when one partner out-succeeds the other. This "curse" is not specific to Oscar nominees, of course. It plagues many relationships, particularly when the woman is more successful than the man.

What are the dynamics at play? InsideOut Empowerment® tells us that humans have five basic needs which they are driven to meet — survival, connection, freedom, enjoyment and significance. Significance is typically the need that is most destructive to relationships and the one that comes into play with success or lack thereof.

More from YourTango: How To Be Happy: It's An InsideOut Job

Every person has a need for significance. This need encompasses being important, making a difference, being recognized for a talent or an accomplishment, being the best at something, being competent, being strong and being in control. We don't all have this need at the same level however. Our need-strength profile is unique to each of us.

People with a higher need for significance would be drawn to certain professions (e.g. politicians, CEOs of corporations, corrections, members of the armed services, public speakers, doctors, athletes, actors, etc.). This need to be the best and recognized would drive a person toward a profession where they tend to get a lot of attention. ( See: Why Domestic Violence Runs Rampant in the NFL)

People with a high need for significance tend to be competitive. They like to win and be recognized for their victories. I spend a lot of time with couples looking at their need-strength profiles to determine their compatibilities (See: How Compatible Are You And Your Partner?). Take our free assessments to find out!

More from YourTango: The Cheerios Commercial: Is Interracial Marriage Still Taboo?

For the other four needs (survival, connection, freedom and enjoyment), it is best to pair with someone with similar need strengths. However, the significance need is different. Two people high in significance may have a difficult time maintaining a positive relationship because they both want to win, be right and always have the last word. They want to be the most important, inside their relationship and out. Keep reading ...

More couples advice from YourTango:

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Kim Olver


Kim Olver, LCPC, has been featured in Whole Living, Women's World, Fitness Magazine and Counseling Today and is the best-selling, award winning author of Secrets of Happy Couples: Loving Yourself, Your Partner, and Your Life.

Connect with Kim by signing up for her FREE InsideOut Relationship Advice Newsletter and receive a FREE recording about our Life Changing Process, InsideOut Empowerment and have access to FREE relationship assessments.

Check out new products that might be for you in my Webstore

Location: Country Club Hills (Chicago), IL
Credentials: LCPC, MS, NCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Empowering Women
Other Articles/News by Kim Olver:

How To Be Happy: It's An InsideOut Job


The reason most people feel unhappy is that they are in search of this illusive happiness that is somehow found outside of them in things they acquire, people they want and experiences they have. While these things can bring temporary pleasure, if you are seeking true happiness, it’s an InsideOut job. See the seven steps on how to be happy and ... Read more

The Cheerios Commercial: Is Interracial Marriage Still Taboo?


As a person who has been in an interracial relationship, I was so encouraged to see the newest Cheerios commercial star a Caucasian mother, an African American father and their adorable biracial little girl. When the media begins to depict different types of families, the public may be exposed to difference in a way they wouldn't otherwise and exposure can ... Read more

Why You Should Never 'Reward' Your Boyfriend With Sex


According to The Daily Mail, new research says that two-thirds of British women admit using sex to reward their partner for good behavior, with helping around the home being the most common reason they reward their partners in the bedroom. For generations and generations, men and women have been attempting to control each others' behavior. We ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts

3 Ways to Define Who You Want To Be

Sometimes the best way to know who you want to be is to notice how you react in the here and now.

Multi-Ethnic Senior Women In Swimming Pool

Make New Friends, Keep Good Friends

Once you have a clear idea of the kinds of friendships you would enjoy, you can decide to create mor

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>