Why You Should Be Friends First, Scientifically Speaking
By Kim Olver. Posted on .
Too often in our romantic relationships, we play a different role. Not in the beginning of the relationship, though. In the beginning, we treat our partner like the best friend we ever had. If you still have a solid friendship with your long-term partner, congratulate yourselves and celebrate your friendship this week. You will likely be together for a very long time.
If, however, your relationship has gotten off track and you realize you aren't being the best friend you could be to your partner, why not change that now? You don't even need their commitment to do the same for you. Ask yourself, "What kind of person do I want to be in my relationship with my most significant relationship of choice?" Take a long look in the mirror and ask, "Is that the person I am being right now?"
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If the answer to those questions is no, then think about performing a random act of kindness in your relationship. One of the best gifts we can give our partners is the gift of total acceptance of who they are without expecting anything in return.
Don't think, Why should I do this if s/he isn't going to do it too? Is that how you treat your friends? You have recognized you are not being the person you want to be in your relationship. You are the only one who can change that. Your partner may notice and respond accordingly or she or he may continue being exactly the same. It doesn’t really matter. What’s most important is that you take control of the one thing you can control in your relationship—what you do!
Start today and you will feel better and there's a great chance your relationship will improve dramatically as a result. Put the friendship back in your relationship now!
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