Expert Blog Compelling advice, stories, and thought-provoking perspectives straight from YourTango's lineup of Experts to you

Why Domestic Violence Runs Rampant In The NFL

Why Domestic Violence Runs Rampant In The NFL [EXPERT]
Self, Family

What can we learn from the murder-suicide of Jovan Belcher and Kasandra Perkins?

A person who only knows how to power over others is intent on control. They do not experience significance without having control, including control of the important people in their lives. Sometimes a loss of control in one area will heighten control a person must have in another. Domestic violence is often the product of a person who only knows how to power over others feeling out of control somewhere, attempting to regain it by powering over loved ones.

This also explains why incidents of domestic violence are higher in the military and law enforcement. Both are professions that attract those with the ability and desire to power over others.  It’s not the job that "causes" the problem; it's the personality of the person attracted to the job. Couple the need to power over others with the incredible privilege extended to players in the NFL and you have a recipe for a person who may tend to use violence with others.

The solution is to teach those who gain satisfaction from powering over others the joys of powering with others and the art of developing power within. When people have more responsible ways to meet their need for significance, they will no longer need to use powering over others except on the job where it is appropriate and necessary.