to the YourTango newsletter!

Continue to Site »»

ProConnect

Why Domestic Violence Runs Rampant In The NFL

By . Posted on .

Why Domestic Violence Runs Rampant In The NFL [EXPERT]
NFL player Jovan Belcher shot and killed his girlfriend Kasandra Perkins on December 1.
What can we learn from the murder-suicide of Jovan Belcher and Kasandra Perkins?

The problem is if a person never learns the value of the other ways to gain significance, and all he or she has is powering over behavior. This might look like the bully on the playground, the boss who takes credit for others' work or the perpetrator of domestic violence.

The other two ways of gaining power and significance are powering with others and developing power within. Let's look at powering with others first. Powering with others is a great way to get one’s need for significance met. This can happen when people go into business together, get along well with each other and work well toward meeting their goals.

You can have power with your co-workers when you engage in cooperative teamwork to get the job done. You can power with family members in a fully functioning family (whatever that is). And you can power with team members when you have an athletic team that works well with each other, has no major grandstanders with everyone doing their part and results in a winning record.

More from YourTango: 10 Relationship Lessons From Dr. William Glasser

The only problem with only having exclusive power with others behavior is that you will be at a loss when your "team" isn't around. You only experience significance when your "team" is there to support you and many times they won't be.

The final way to get one's need for significance met is to have power within. Power within results from those things we are good at, proud of and have accomplished in our lives. It comes from competence, getting recognition for accomplishments, and an inner knowing of your strengths, talents and special gifts you have to share with the world.

More from YourTango: Is Your Relationship The Reason For Your Depression?

You may argue that NFL players should have this kind of power by virtue of the fact that they made it to the elite status of playing in the NFL. Many do but there are also some who have not gone beyond the methods of gaining power by powering over others. They derive no real satisfaction from their inner gifts and talents unless they place them above everyone else. Continue reading ...

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Kim Olver

Speaker/Presenter

Kim Olver, LCPC, has been featured in Whole Living, Women's World, Fitness Magazine and Counseling Today and is the best-selling, award winning author of Secrets of Happy Couples: Loving Yourself, Your Partner, and Your Life.

Connect with Kim by signing up for her FREE InsideOut Relationship Advice Newsletter and receive a FREE recording about our Life Changing Process, InsideOut Empowerment and have access to FREE relationship assessments.

Check out new products that might be for you in my Webstore

Location: Country Club Hills (Chicago), IL
Credentials: LCPC, MS, NCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Empowering Women
Other Articles/News by Kim Olver:

10 Relationship Lessons From Dr. William Glasser

By

Today is my mentor's 88th birthday and I want to take this occasion to publically record the lessons I've learned from him in my life. Dr. William Glasser is the creator of Choice Theory and Reality Therapy. The most important thing for health and happiness is positive, strong relationships in one's life. When I want to argue about being ... Read more

Is Your Relationship The Reason For Your Depression?

By

According to PsychCentral, new research finds that some people are better off not having a spouse than being in a poor relationship. Furthermore, people in bad relationships had more than double the risk of depression than those with the best relationships. The interesting thing is that most of the psychological community would believe that you are ... Read more

The Real Reason Older Men Like To Date Younger Women

By

Admit it, when you see an older man who's dating a much younger woman, you assume it's because he must be going through some sort of mid-life crisis. His more youthful female companion may be more sexually attractive to him (making him feel younger in the process) and she probably doesn't call him out on his issues like an older woman might. After ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Cuffs

What Is A Dysfunctional Relationship?

Dysfunctional Relationships are relationships that do not perform their appropriate function.

Smothering

Solving ADD to Autism at Home

How to use a "cheaper" alternate to Neurofeedback with non-drug therapies that work at home.

Liquor

Why Doesn’t He Like Me Back? 18 Reasons and Solutions

Learn the 18 most common reasons for why a guy doesn't like you back and how to deal with them.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS