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Why Domestic Violence Runs Rampant In The NFL

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Why Domestic Violence Runs Rampant In The NFL [EXPERT]
NFL player Jovan Belcher shot and killed his girlfriend Kasandra Perkins on December 1.
What can we learn from the murder-suicide of Jovan Belcher and Kasandra Perkins?

With the recent tragedy of Kansas City Chiefs' Jovan Belcher and Kasandra Perkins' murder-suicide, the spotlight has been shone on domestic violence in the NFL. There is a lot of talk about head injuries and concussions playing an important role and I hope that avenue is pursued. However, there is also a possible psychological explanation worth exploring.

InsideOut Empowerment explains that people are born with five, basic human needs: survival, connection, significance, freedom and enjoyment. We all have all five, but the way they manifest is individual. For example, I have high needs for connection and freedom, a moderately high need for significance and lower needs for survival and enjoyment, whereas you may have a high need for survival, moderate needs for connection and significance and low needs for enjoyment and freedom.

More from YourTango: Forgiveness

The need most correlated with domestic violence is the need for significance, sometimes called the need for power. (Find out how high your partner's need for significance is by going to The Relationship Center and taking our free assessments.)

People are almost born knowing how to power over other people. Have you ever watched two 18 month-olds playing where one had a toy the other one wanted? That second child has no problem powering over his friend to get the toy he wants. He will hit, bite, scratch, pull hair, take it and scream to get the toy he wants. Instinctively, we know how to power over others.

More from YourTango: 10 Relationship Lessons From Dr. William Glasser

These behaviors are very important in certain circumstances. If you are in a fight for your life, you would want the ruthlessness to power over your attacker. If you are involved in sports, you want the ability to power over your opponent. If you are in a role to serve and protect others, you want the ability to power over those who threaten the safety of others. In these situations, powering over behavior is critical. Continue reading ...

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Kim Olver

Speaker/Presenter

Kim Olver, LCPC, has been featured in Whole Living, Women's World, Fitness Magazine and Counseling Today and is the best-selling, award winning author of Secrets of Happy Couples: Loving Yourself, Your Partner, and Your Life.

Connect with Kim by signing up for her FREE InsideOut Relationship Advice Newsletter and receive a FREE recording about our Life Changing Process, InsideOut Empowerment and have access to FREE relationship assessments.

Check out new products that might be for you in my Webstore

Location: Country Club Hills (Chicago), IL
Credentials: LCPC, MS, NCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Empowering Women
Other Articles/News by Kim Olver:

Forgiveness

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Forgiveness is a topic that gets a lot of attention. Most people would agree that forgiving others is a good thing to do but why? First we need an agreed upon definition of forgiveness. Some people say that to forgive means you let go of the hurt, anger and frustration caused by another individual. It is definitely important to let go of hurt, anger and ... Read more

10 Relationship Lessons From Dr. William Glasser

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Today is my mentor's 88th birthday and I want to take this occasion to publically record the lessons I've learned from him in my life. Dr. William Glasser is the creator of Choice Theory and Reality Therapy. The most important thing for health and happiness is positive, strong relationships in one's life. When I want to argue about being ... Read more

Is Your Relationship The Reason For Your Depression?

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According to PsychCentral, new research finds that some people are better off not having a spouse than being in a poor relationship. Furthermore, people in bad relationships had more than double the risk of depression than those with the best relationships. The interesting thing is that most of the psychological community would believe that you are ... Read more

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