10 Relationship Lessons From Dr. William Glasser


10 Relationship Lessons From Dr. William Glasser
Today my mentor, Dr. William Glasser, turns 88. Would you like to know what he taught me?

Today is my mentor's 88th birthday and I want to take this occasion to publically record the lessons I've learned from him in my life. Dr. William Glasser is the creator of Choice Theory and Reality Therapy.

  1. The most important thing for health and happiness is positive, strong relationships in one's life. When I want to argue about being "right," I back up and ask myself, "What will bring us closer together instead of pulling us furhter apart?" When I do that, "right" seems to no longer matter. [Secrets of Happy Couples]
  2. The only person's behavior I can control is my own. And yet, before learning Choice Theory psychology, I spent most of my time every day, attempting to control all the people around me to do what I thought they should. I work hard to no longer do this.
  3. I recognize each of us has our own life plan. Even those people in my life who are close to me have a right to live their lives the way they want, not necessarily the way I would have chosen for them. I have no right to attempt to steer people in the direction I think best. The only person I should be steering is myself.
  4. Everyone's behavior is governed by five basic needs—survival, love & belonging, power, freedom and fun. All behavior is generated to get something we want that we believe will meet one or more of those needs. We are not deliberately trying to frustrate each other. We are simply attempting to find our own happiness. I have stopped taking things personally.
  5. Different does not mean wrong; it just means different. We all develop our own understanding of the world and how it works based on the people and things we are exposed to in our lives. Over time, we develop the values that become important to us and govern our lives. My values are completely "right" for me but may not be "right" for you. When I see things differently than someone else in my life, I don't try to get them to see it my way. I become curious about trying to understand their position. I'm not necessarily trying to agree with them but am trying to understand so there is room for both our perspectives.
  6. I am the director of my perception. If I don't like what I am experiencing, I am the author and creator. I can rewrite the script. When something happens and I perceive it as negative, I have the ability to flip it and find the positive. If something is bothering me, I have the ability to change my focus or change my thinking.
  7. When I find myself unhappy, I realize I, and I alone, can change that. When I recognize I am unhappy, it is up to me to make the adjustments necessary to restore myself to happiness. I have the knowledge and skill to do that now. [Go here for your free report on InsideOut Thinking.] Keep Reading..

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Kim Olver


Kim Olver, LCPC, has been featured in Whole Living, Women's World, Fitness Magazine and Counseling Today and is the best-selling, award winning author of Secrets of Happy Couples: Loving Yourself, Your Partner, and Your Life.

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Location: Country Club Hills (Chicago), IL
Credentials: LCPC, MS, NCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Empowering Women
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