10 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Spank Your Kids

By

10 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Spank Your Kids [EXPERT]
When it comes to punishing children, spanking is never a good idea. Here's why.

Of course that doesn't last long if parents do an overall good job of parenting. However, spanking can shake the foundation of trust between you and your child. Your child trusts you to always have his or her best interests in mind. Spanking can greatly cause your child to question this premise. 

7. No one can learn when they're afraid. The work of Dr. Bruce Lipton has shown us that it is biologically impossible to learn and implement higher-order thinking when fearful. The fear response triggers the fight or flight instinct and adrenaline and cortisol flood our bloodstreams and brains. Our blood is diverted to our extremities and higher order frontal lobe thinking is basically shut down in favor of more reflexive responses, originated from our instinctual brain stem area. If you want your child to learn something, it's critical to reduce fear rather than increase it.

8. Spanking reduces the influence you have with your children. I have always said, "relationship is the root of all influence." When you think of those people you listen to, trust and seek out for advice, it's those people who support and encourage you, not generally those who "smack you down," either literally or physically. Do you want to have influence with your child? Then you might want to stop hitting him or her, even if it's for "his own good." 10 Parenting Secrets To Empower Kids

9. Spanking teaches children to lie to avoid detection or to avoid you. When you think about punishment, it generally does not deter behavior unless the punisher is present. Most people do what they want to do, unless the risk of detection is high. Punishment teaches children to avoid detection by avoiding his or her parents.

10. In 2012, we have learned better ways to teach children right from wrong rather than through corporal punishment. There was a time in history when we "cured" headaches by drilling holes in people's heads to let evil spirits out. There was also a time when we sent messages via pony express and/or telegraph. These were effective for the time because it was the best we knew how to do with the information available to us.

This is 2012. We no longer have to spank children to have them understand the "error" of their ways. We have made advances in parenting. We now know how to communicate in a way that actually teaches, rather than punishes. Doing something because it's always been done that way and worked out in the past, is not a good reason for continuing. Is Alicia Silverstone Clueless About Parenting?

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Kim Olver

Speaker/Presenter

Kim Olver, LCPC, has been featured in Whole Living, Women's World, Fitness Magazine and Counseling Today and is the best-selling, award winning author of Secrets of Happy Couples: Loving Yourself, Your Partner, and Your Life.

Connect with Kim by signing up for her FREE InsideOut Relationship Advice Newsletter and receive a FREE recording about our Life Changing Process, InsideOut Empowerment and have access to FREE relationship assessments.

Check out new products that might be for you in my Webstore

Location: Country Club Hills (Chicago), IL
Credentials: LCPC, MS, NCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Empowering Women
Other Articles/News by Kim Olver:

How To Be Happy: It's An InsideOut Job

By

The reason most people feel unhappy is that they are in search of this illusive happiness that is somehow found outside of them in things they acquire, people they want and experiences they have. While these things can bring temporary pleasure, if you are seeking true happiness, it’s an InsideOut job. See the seven steps on how to be happy and ... Read more

The Cheerios Commercial: Is Interracial Marriage Still Taboo?

By

As a person who has been in an interracial relationship, I was so encouraged to see the newest Cheerios commercial star a Caucasian mother, an African American father and their adorable biracial little girl. When the media begins to depict different types of families, the public may be exposed to difference in a way they wouldn't otherwise and exposure can ... Read more

Why You Should Never 'Reward' Your Boyfriend With Sex

By

According to The Daily Mail, new research says that two-thirds of British women admit using sex to reward their partner for good behavior, with helping around the home being the most common reason they reward their partners in the bedroom. For generations and generations, men and women have been attempting to control each others' behavior. We ... Read more

See More

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.