There are a few key events that happen in gaslighting:
- When you defend yourself and your ideas, the gaslighter dismisses you as crazy, uptight or irrational.
- The cheater/controller/addict first makes you think you may be incorrect and your thinking distorted.
- Then he/she gives you his/her version as the truth. You let the other person define your reality for you.
That’s not a relationship, it is a sickness.
More from YourTango: Six Simple Secrets for Relationships
Don’t let yourself fall for gaslighting. Here's what to do:
More from YourTango: The Top 7 Things You Must Talk About Before Getting Married
- If your gut is telling you something, then pursue it.
- If you doubt yourself, go seek professional help to untangle your thoughts.
- Keep a journal of your perceptions so that when your partner explains them away you can review your ideas without pressure.
- Don’t let go of friends and outside support. They can be your reality check.
- Remember you are not "sensitive" or "crazy" or "uptight" if your reactions are in response to things you see happening.
- Recognize this as a power play and defense by the gaslighter to protect him/herself (often from dealing with him/herself.) It isn’t about you; however, it does affect you and it is not healthy.
- Get away before you end up in the asylum like Bergman’s character almost did.
Have you ever been gaslighted? Comment below, please.