In A Relationship? Avoid The Gaslighter


In A Relationship? Avoid The Gaslighter
Subtle and sneaky, gaslighting is common in unhealthy relationships. Learn to recognize it and act.

There are a few key events that happen in gaslighting:

  • When you defend yourself and your ideas, the gaslighter dismisses you as crazy, uptight or irrational. 
  • The cheater/controller/addict first makes you think you may be incorrect and your thinking distorted. 
  • Then he/she gives you his/her version as the truth. You let the other person define your reality for you.

That’s not a relationship, it is a sickness.

Don’t let yourself fall for gaslighting. Here's what to do: 

  • If your gut is telling you something, then pursue it. 
  • If you doubt yourself, go seek professional help to untangle your thoughts. 
  • Keep a journal of your perceptions so that when your partner explains them away you can review your ideas without pressure. 
  • Don’t let go of friends and outside support. They can be your reality check. 
  • Remember you are not "sensitive" or "crazy" or "uptight" if your reactions are in response to things you see happening. 
  • Recognize this as a power play and defense by the gaslighter to protect him/herself (often from dealing with him/herself.) It isn’t about you; however, it does affect you and it is not healthy. 
  • Get away before you end up in the asylum like Bergman’s character almost did.

Have you ever been gaslighted? Comment below, please.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Kim Leatherdale

Relationship Coach

Kim Leatherdale
Board Certified Commitment Coach
Creating Rewarding Relationships because Lifelong Love is Not just a fairytale.

"When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece."  John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)


Location: Little Silver, NJ
Credentials: BCC
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