There is a Code That Leads Men Into Infidelity


There is a Code That Leads Men Into Infidelity
“Men’s Code,” are attitudes men learn and adopt from an early age regarding women, sex and family.

Reflecting deeper from my childhood, I also recall the following codes that further shaped my thinking including: (1) It was cool to have and view images of nude females and to lust after their physical anatomy (2) There is no discussion about the consequences of having sex at a young age or getting a woman pregnant and the responsibilities that comes with that (3) There was no discussion of when the right time was to engage in sexual activity (4) There was no discussion from a spiritual or biblical perspective on what God’s word reveals about sexual behavior. As a teenager I discovered that it was okay to buy sex from prostitutes and the bigger misconception that love can be bought!

During my high school years (as a young aspiring musician), I was receiving additional “Men’s Code” information from the older musicians I performed and hung out with. I observed how these men talked and interacted with their women. However, no one “schooled” me regarding how to respect and love women appropriately, nor did any of the married musicians talk to me about how to treat your wife properly. This would be some of the baggage and thinking that I would later bring into my marriage that almost destroyed my family.


The "Men's Code" is so dangerously powerful because it becomes an addiction to many men who have difficulty in breaking the code. If not addressed in its early stages, it will lead a man into infidelity.

"But the man who commits adultery is an utter fool, for he destroys his own soul."
Proverbs 6:32

Here are a few practical steps men can take to begin "Breaking The Men's Code":

1. Recognize that you are using the Men's Code" in your relationship with your wife/mate in some capacity. (Even inappropriately looking at women with sexual thoughts is part of this code's acceptance).
2. Recognize that using the code is hurting your wife/mate, children, friends and most importantly God.
3. Recognize that the only way you'll change is with God's help; you cannot do this alone or on your own.

Article contributed by
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Kevin Toney


Kevin Toney

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