The notion that single boomer women are anxious to have first date sex is seriously flawed.
Newly single boomer guys have earned the dubious distinction of being difficult to date. And it's boomer mens' anachronistic dating behavior that makes them challenging. Many seem to feel that dating behavior that was acceptable in the 60s or 70s (the last time many of these men were single) still works. Since boomers now have the highest rate of divorce, there's a rapidly growing number of new, single boomer men. If you're one of these newbies, listen up, because you don't want to become a pariah in your local dating community. Once you get labeled a boomer guy who doesn't have a clue, its difficult to convince women otherwise.
There's one faux pas in particular that can make a boomer woman wonder why she bothers dating at all.
I'm a Dating Expert for The Huffington Post, AARP, About.com, Maria Shriver, and several other online magazines. In addition, I dated for quite a while before meeting my partner two years ago. I write about dating from my experiences and the experiences of the tens of thousands of single boomers who post comments on my articles. What's crystal clear is that women's general impressions of newly single boomer guys is that they are clueless, rude, and have unrealistic expectations about first date sex and falling in love on a first date.
This is a huge reputation to overcome. A newbie who hasn't had sex or felt love in a long while in his failing marriage can find his libido pushed into the red zone. The desire to feel like a man again is primal, and unless he's able to hold it in check for a while, his sense of logic will be skewed. I'm not picking on recently single boomer men simply because they're easy targets. It's their behavior that makes them easy targets, and I fully comprehend where they're coming from. I'm a boomer guy too, and I faced the same issues when I was newly single. When I divorced all I could think about was having sex with the first willing woman. But it only took a few dates before I realized my behavior was totally wrongheaded.
Casual Sex Isn't The Norm
The free love movement of the 60s is dead. The notion that a boomer woman with good self-esteem, who marched against a war, demonstrated to win her equal rights, raised our kids often as single moms, had a career, and created a tight network of lifelong friends, should be flattered because a newly single boomer guy wants her to sexually satisfy a stranger, ignores every sterling quality I've mentioned about boomer women, who are looking for a life partner, not a quickie. It's extremely myopic to consider boomer women as anything less than potential partners. If you're a recently single newbie guy who was married for decades, there's no free lunch, and there's no free love either.
What Do Boomer Women Want?
This is a small part of a much larger discussion in The Boomer Guide to Finding Your True Love Online, but suffice to say that boomer women want to be treated with the respect they've earned, which includes men who are willing and abile to be emotionally honest. And newbie men who label boomer women bitter and angry because they refuse to have first date sex with them, or equally disrespectful, fall in love with them over coffee, don't seem to understand that boomer women live in integrity with their values. Perhaps the bitter and angry label better applies to a newbie's ex-wife, but it also likely applies to him. I dated for several years, and with rare exception, didn't meet any bitter, angry boomer women. In fact, I've know far more bitter, angry divorced boomer men, who unlike divorced women who typically work through their anger and bitterness issues, allow their feelings to fester and go unexamined until they finally notice their behavior's not working.
Issues such as why I'm a huge fan of boomer women, first dates, and first date sex, are but a few of the myriad of boomer dating issues focused on in The Boomer Guide to Finding Your True Love Online. Additional information can be found on my website http://www.kensolin.com.