For Great Relationship Advice, Look At Your Friendships

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Relationship Expert: Romantic Advice From Friendships
Our important relationships aren't just romantic; we learn from our friends and families, too.

Practicing healthy boundaries with friends, family and work associates will improve your self-respect, confidence and self-esteem as a whole, translating into enhanced romantic pairings. Emotionally healthy men love emotionally healthy women with confidence. Keep Reading...

Having boundaries means knowing what you want for yourself and how you want to be treated. You can't enforce boundaries until you establish them, so take some time to really consider what's important to you. Enforcing boundaries means having a clear plan to make your limits known, and determining what you will say or do when someone steps over the line — because eventually, someone will. You can adjust them as you get used to the process.

 

A lack of boundaries leaves you living life by default. If you don't have a game plan, you simply become part of someone else's agenda. You know that feeling when someone visiting has outstayed their welcome? Or when a so-called friend threw you under the bus to make her feel better? Maybe a co-worker took credit for something you did and got the raise you earned. Feelings of injustice or being used can usually be solved; you don't have to let them become vehicles for hurt, anger or bitterness. That bitterness is toxic, and will play a role in all of your relationships at some point whether another's actions trigger a poor response in you, or you choose a victim's role and accept mistreatment.

Let's say honesty is one of your top values. You are honest, and expect it from others. So what do you do with a friend isn't being truthful with you? Do you stay friends with her because then at least you'll have someone to go out with? Or do you have a talk with her to let her know lying is unacceptable to you — and that your friendship will end if you find her being dishonest again? You can say it in words that feel right to you; just be sure to make your point clearly. 

How does all this translate into a romantic relationship? If you are skilled at establishing how you choose to be treated and enforcing your boundaries by keeping your word to yourself — exiting a friendship or partnership if your healthy boundaries are not respected — not only will you attract a more respectful mate, but most likely also one who appreciates that you think enough of yourself to have boundaries. Most people don't establish rules for themselves, fearing that others won't like them if they enforce boundaries.

The friend who likes to lie and the co-worker who likes to make jokes at your expense will have to find someone else without self-respect to prey upon. If there are any people in your life who use you for their own gain, hope that they will change their tune but also prepare for the fact they may leave your life. This clarity is eye-opening, but also painful, and it is why most people don't enforce boundaries. Keep Reading...

Article contributed by

Kelly Rudolph

Life Coach

Kelly Rudolph
Certified Life Coach | Certified Hypnotherapist | Founder of Positive Women Rock | Speaker | Presenter

Life Coach Kelly Rudolph walks her talk and implements her own personal growth plan on a dialy basis, translating into greater understanding, experience and strategies for her clients.

Her personal story is one of tragedy-to-triumph that inspires and empowers at PositiveWomenRock.com

Sign up for her FREE Life Strategies.
 

Location: La Jolla, CA
Credentials: ACC, CHT
Specialties: Empowering Women, Self-Esteem, Stress Management
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