It's not a cake walk.
We’ve probably all heard stories about marriage. Maybe your parents split up, disillusioning you and squashing your ideas about marriage. Or maybe you heard great things about it, but you still have some doubts.
The fact of the matter is this: the actual experience of being married to someone is enormously different than what it’s advertised to be.
Here are 4 shockingly REAL truths about marriage that you NEED to know:
1. You will probably never completely agree on some important issues.
Although married couples tend think like each other as they spend time together, there will always be certain issues that you will never agree on. A successful marriage requires that both of you accommodate the viewpoints of each other and compromise when it matters.
2. You will never OWN (or fully control) your spouse – nor should you want to.
The notion of being legally bound with someone “forever” leads partners to believe that they “own” their spouse. As a result many people start taking their partner for granted, instead of consistently putting effort into making their partner feel truly loved and desired.
So remember this: you don’t own your spouse. He or she is an individual with lots of dreams and goals, wants and needs — just like you. Love them for who they are as an individual.
3. Successful marriage needs more than JUST love.
While love is a necessary ingredient for a healthy marriage, there’s a lot more than goes into it. One of the most important attributes of a good marriage is compatibility between spouses. That means you share the same basic values, you see eye-to-eye on certain important issues, and you have overlapping, complementary goals in life.
4. Marriage will NOT bring you everlasting happiness or fix everything.
Many people go into marriage thinking, “This is the high moment of my life, and I’ll be happy from now till eternity.” We all wish, but it's just not so.
While good marriages can be absolutely wonderful, a marriage will not fix all past burdens and it won’t in itself bring you eternal happiness. That’s largely on YOU. You must fix your own problems, make your own experiences, and continue to grow as an individual. But doing that alongside an amazing human being can be thrilling.
Kelly P. Crossing is an experienced counselor and relationship expert who specializes in helping women build the lives and relationships they want. For a glimpse into your needs, take the free NeedsExplorer survey now. To learn more about Kelly and how she can help you, click here.