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Love is not always lasting or healthy. Check these signs to see if it is time to end the relationship.
By Kelly P. Crossing
Last updated on Sep 07, 2023
If you've been in an unhappy relationship, you know how difficult it can be to make the decision to break up and leave your partner. And figuring out how to know when to break up is no easy task.
But if you're considering breaking up, then knowing the signs that you can't save the relationship can make you feel comfortable in walking away. Those of you who tuned into the radio in the early 2000s might remember the lyrics “Why does love have to be a battlefield?” sung by Jordin Sparks.
It's true: Sometimes love does feel like a battlefield. Sometimes relationships feel like war. And sometimes relationships deteriorate to such an extent they are beyond repair. So when do you — the woman who deserves the best of the best — know your present relationship cannot be salvaged?
Is it when you haven't talked for two days straight? When it becomes super awkward (or difficult) to sleep in the same bed? When is it time for you to leave and chalk the relationship up as a learning experience?
I understand how leaving a relationship can be enormously painful and depressing. It's hard — but often necessary so you can ultimately find greater happiness.
That being said, there are some signals your relationship probably can't be repaired without exceptional (and probably needless) sacrifice on your part.
Here are 3 major signs to end a relationship — even if you're still in love:
1. It causes emotional pain to love your partner.
If you find yourself constantly hurting while trying to love your partner, this relationship might not get better.
For example, if arguments have a tendency to spiral into bigger and bigger and more and more painful arguments, then this relationship is hurting you more than it's making you feel good.
2. One of you just can't forgive anymore.
When boundaries like trust and mutual respect are constantly violated by someone in the relationship, the other person may eventually grow tired of constantly forgiving these actions.
When someone in a relationship can no longer forgive, the relationship is usually over for all practical purposes.
3. One of you has stopped trying.
If someone in the relationship stops trying, then most likely the other person is going to eventually stop trying, too.
The result? The relationship stagnates as this cycle of not trying continues and strengthens in intensity.
At this point, the relationship is pretty much hopeless, and it's time for you to cut your losses and move on.
Put simply, remove yourself from a relationship when you are no longer happy and it is not meeting your needs. A relationship's function is largely to make both parties happier and provide richer and better lives. When it fails to do so, there's little point in continuing.
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Kelly P. Crossing is an experienced counselor and relationship expert who specializes in helping women build the lives and relationships they want by understanding their driving needs and how to meet them.