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Finding "the one" means nothing if you're not ready.
By Kelly Ann Garnett — Last updated on Mar 18, 2023
You may feel like you’re ready for your soulmate to show up, but have you really done a self-check to make sure you're prepared for true love to find you?
That's not to say you need to make dramatic changes to find the right person. No, we're talking pure self-awareness here, almost like a spring cleaning for your personality as well as your physical surroundings.
After all, if you want to find the right person for you, it helps to prepare. That means checking in on your mind, your body, and your soul — and giving yourself every opportunity to go out into the world with confidence and finally meet "the one."
Here are three life fixes you must make to to be fully ready for your soulmate:
1. Clear your mind
Is your brain fogged by internal chatter?
You know, that voice in your head that says nothing but lies like “There are no good men,” or “You’re not (pretty, skinny, good) enough,” or “You don’t deserve him.”
The truth is that you do deserve all that you desire and more. But you need to really know that. When your mind starts to spew nonsense about who you are, stop to acknowledge it and question it.
Ask yourself, “Is this the truth about me?” or “Is this the truth?” Nine times out of 10, the answer will be no.
And if there’s that one time when the answer is a yes, then you can make ask yourself some questions like, “What can I do to change this?” or “What else is possible?”
2. Clear your heart
A great process to do in order to make sure that your heart is fully available for your soulmate is to create a list of past love interests. These can be men that you’ve dated, men that you’ve been in a serious relationship with, one-night stands, or even men that you’ve had a crush on.
Create a chart or spreadsheet. Make a list of the following:
- Their names
- How you met them
- What attracted you to them
- What qualities you admired
- What qualities about them challenged you
- How/why the relationship ended
- How you felt when it ended
Is there anything that is unfinished between the two of you? Did you anything leave unsaid? Any feelings that you may still be holding onto?
Filling out this chart will provide you with great insight into the types of men you’ve attracted in the past, and insight into whether you need to take action to fully let any of them go. A simple, yet profound, tool that I use all the time, is what I call a “Let It Go” letter.
Using paper and a pen, write out anything and everything that you’d like to say to them. The good, the bad, and the downright ugly. Try to continuously write for at least 10 minutes without a break. Once you feel complete, immediately rip it up and either throw it away outside or, if it’s safe to do so, burn it.
Do not reread it, keep it, or send it. If after doing this process, you feel inspired to write them, do it later. You’ll feel much clearer about what you want to or need to say.
3. Clear your space
It is important for your home to be a space for respite, but also a space for love to spark and grow.
Look around to see if your home is relationship ready. Do you have space for a partner to come in? For example, do you have a toothbrush holder that can hold your and his toothbrushes?
Is there space in a drawer for his things when he stays over? Is there a nightstand on “his” side of the bed?
Look to see if there are any tweaks that can be made that would help allow the natural flow of your relationship for whenever he’s there.
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Kelly Ann Garnett is a certified love attraction coach who understands the deep desire and longing for a soulmate.
This article was originally published at Kelly Ann Garnett. Reprinted with permission from the author.