Last weekend, I was at a good friend of mine’s wedding in the Catskills. I promised you last week that I would get an exclusive from him. And I got it!
Just to give you a little background on my friend. (I’ll call him “Mark.”) He was an avid dater. I mean, he had spreadsheets on the number of women he had dated. Yes, he was absolutely an eligible bachelor: good looking, nice family, kind, and good values. So you can imagine that when he hit the online dating market, there were a lot of women interested.
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Yet there was always something wrong with each girl. She was too high maintenance, boring, not good looking enough, not active enough, and the list goes on. I had a front row seat for years around his dating life.
So, when he met the love of his life, I was excited to hear what made the difference, and I wanted you to hear it too!
I asked him, “What was it about Mandy that made all the difference after all the women you have dated?”
His answer was actually really, really simple.
He said, “I just knew!”
He elaborated by saying, “I never thought I would just know. I had heard my friends that are married say that, and I didn’t believe it until it happened to me. And what I realized is that the other girls I dated weren’t wrong, they just weren’t my match. I now feel what my match feels like!”
He also added, “And because I dated and went through that process I was so certain that Mandy was right for me. So, thank god for the spreadsheet of women because I met my match and I have no doubts that she is the one.” (This was in his vows also.)
One thing I love about Mark is that he was not willing to settle when it came to love. And yes, he questioned if it would ever happen for him. However, he kept in action, and without knowing it, he was searching for that “I just knew!” moment.
What I want you to get out of Mark’s story are two things:
Men are looking for that same feeling that you, as a woman, are looking for. If something doesn’t work out with a man, it has little to do with how you could have done things differently, or if there is something wrong with you. For him, it is more about: is this person the right match? Do I have little doubt?
Even when it feels like love is far off, KEEP IN ACTION and enjoy the process of love instead of seeing it as a destination. Every step you take is leading you in the right direction. Whether it is learning how to be yourself, communicating, or knowing more of what you want. And I promise it is all creating something that is much more fulfilling than you can even imagine.
This week’s Lovework:
Ask yourself: Are you looking at your love life as a destination? What about the finding love process can you begin to enjoy now?
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Could it be:
Meeting new people.
Connecting to someone that is awesome in a new way.
Going up and talking to a man you are curious about.
Getting asked out.
Feeling taken care of by having a man ask you out to dinner and pay for it.
What part of this love journey can you start to enjoy right now? Share with me in the COMMENTS below!