Jealousy: damaging or encouraging?
Do you want a man that is confident, ambitious, honest, loyal, loves what he does, makes a lot of money, and treats you like a queen?
Do you want to be identified as being a part of a power couple?
Of course you do! What woman doesn’t?
This weekend I was in a room filled with successful women and men, and there was a lot of couple envy going around. What I mean by couple envy is a single woman would see another woman dating a man that was super successful and instantly feel a twinge of jealousy.
I am here to tell you that this is super normal! It is not wrong to feel jealous. Jealousy is merely a desire for something more, and the part that makes jealousy feel icky is that it invokes a feeling of not being capable of having what the other person has. However, if used correctly, it can inspire you to overturn that idea.
What irked me was watching beautiful, vivacious, successful women begin to minimize their own worth simply by how one woman was able to snag a “successful” man. No one was seeking to understand how good of a man he was, or how healthy, loving and connected the relationship was. They willingly chose to participate in a fantasy.
As human beings we have a tendency to place what others have on a pedestal or engage in a fantasy (aka fairy tale). The major side effect of seeing love from this lens is that it keeps us feeling like a failure, inadequate and ashamed. This is a sure-fire way for us to block love from coming in.
Why is this a sure-fire way?
Basically, your attention is drawn to the lack of love in your life and what occupies your attention grows. When you focus in on all the friends or acquaintances in your life that have love, especially those that have the kind of love you desire, it keeps you focused on the lack.
Have you ever unknowingly been cut on your finger and once you noticed the blood, suddenly the pain sets in? It isn’t because of the cut, but the result of the attention you are giving to the cut that causes you to begin to feel the pain. That is how attracting love works as well.
In those moments of couple envy, decide to turn it around. Revel in the love being shared and imagine you having that kind of love with a man that is hand-picked for you. All of a sudden you can shift a situation that could get you stuck in feeling the lack of love to quickly shifting it into a space of drawing in love.
The reason I share this piece of advice is because I want you to be honest with yourself when you are walking into the wall of inadequacy because you feel like you are the last person on earth that is single. NOT true. Flip the script inside your head, move into your heart and imagine yourself swimming in the same sea of love. I promise you, it is right around the corner in all of its glory.
Tell me how YOU flip the script to stay in the love zone instead of the wall of inadequacy when you are out and mingling over on the BLOG.