Verbal Bunders: Did You Really Say That?

By

Verbal Bunders: Did You Really Say That?
We all make verbal oopses. Learn how to take the sting out of slips of the tongue.

Open mouth, insert foot. It's the verbal equivalent of walking through a restaurant with toilet peper on your shoe. We've all  experienced the mortification of poor verbal choices.  Sometimes, embarrassing stuff just happens.  Letting those blunders happen more often than not, though, is a problem that goes beyond stuff that sometimes happens.

In fact, as I describe on my website www.BeingHeardNow.,com, verbal pitfalls reflect how good your communication skills are overall.  Luckily, preventing unwelcome comments is surprisingly easy.  

1.  Slow Down:  I'm reminded of reading only the first part of a test question only to have it turn out the actual question was in the part I didn't take time to read.  Being impatient diminishes the amount of information you have at hand, which leads to uninformed or ill-informed comments. You haven't demonstrated complete interest in someone else; you've taken over control of their speech.  You're seen as self-centered, rude, brainless and uncaring.  Men report that women talk too much; men say that's the reason they don't listen.  Whatever the cause, look for the speaker to to shut down, and become disinterested in you as a conversation partner.

2.  Pay Attention:  It is nothing short of insulting when the listener doesn't appear to be listening.  The oops can be verbal or non-verbal: eyes looking elsewhere instead of making contact with the speaker; paying attention to their own task while saying they're listening; saying something irrelevant to the conversation.  As I describe in my blog, some of my worst oopses have come from replacing the speaker's reality with my own. The result is that I'm left behind and the speaker knows it's because I've broken a cardinal rule of good communication: I haven't paid attention.  I cringe every time I look at a picture taken at a business function where one of the guys I'm talking to is looking around the room, not at me.  When that happens to you pay attention to how you feel; I guarantee you won't do it to anyone else.  

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Kathe Skinner

Marriage and Family Therapist

Kathe Skinner, M.A.

www.BeingHeardNow.com

ilikebeingsickanddisabled.com

 


 

Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Credentials: LMFT, MA
Other Articles/News by Kathe Skinner:

Unconditional Love: Is It Real Or Just A Romantic Illusion?

By

When your love is unconditional, nothing can tear it asunder. What exists is the-two-of-you-as-one — infallible, ageless, timeless, and forever. New lovers are intoxicated by the overwhelming emotion, each other and by the potent chemical cocktail that results. But here's what you have to know: unconditional love is a romantic illusion, and one that ... Read more

You're Totally Normal: The 6 Most Common Reactions To Divorce

By

My ex-husband was a big shot in a small town sort of way. He thrived on the attention he got; I wilted because of it. When I dropped the "d-bomb", his reaction was predictable. And when he remarried it was, as he put it, because he "had to have somebody" in his life. But what about me? How did I feel once I got what I wanted? Read on to ... Read more

A Hurricane Without Rain: A Reminder from Waldo Canyon

By

In a winter, spring and now summer of overly dry air and land, the hurricane has finally come.  Sixty-five mile an hour winds, cloudy skies and lightning, but it’s a hurricane without rain.   Sweeping through the canyons next to and above Colorado Springs, Manitou Springs, Woodland Park, the Air Force Academy almost to Douglas County, ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB