Poor Kristen Stewart. Yes. I said it and I’ll say it again: Poor Kristen Stewart. Robert Pattinson has garnered tons of support post break up but I doubt many people are feeling too bad for Kristen. After all, she’s the one who cheated. Why should anyone feel bad for her?
Because her stupid mistake is being examined under a public microscope and critiqued in the tabloids.
More from YourTango: 3 Ways Music Can Set The Mood
The poor girl issued a public apology regarding a private matter. Even with Jodie Foster defending her, and her recent hiatus from the public eye, I would imagine Kristen is still feeling pretty awful right about now. At least when the rest of us mess up, practically no one cares and we can move with our lives on without having to sequester ourselves lest we be attacked by paparazi and rabid Pattinson fans.
It’s nearly impossible to go through life without screwing up royally at some point. Kristen Stewart is young so she’s bound to make lots of mistakes. Haven’t we all? And even though she probably knows that cheating is wrong, it can be hard to truly comprehend what “wrong” means until you make that mistake. I’m not defending her behavior; but I am defending her and her right to make a mistake and learn from it.
I don’t condone cheating. I’ve been the cheater, the one cheated on, and the one someone cheated with, so I understand the dynamics of the situation from all perspectives and that’s precisely why I can say for certain, no matter how you slice it, the situation sucks for all parties involved. There is however, a misconception about the cheater. We tend to think that since the the cheater is the one who violated the trust in his or her relationship, they’re not the victim so they have no right to feel bad. Not true. Just because you’re the cheater doesn’t mean that you’re spared any emotional fallout. If you have a conscience, you should feel bad. Actually, you should feel like a horrible person. And even if your significant other forgives you, you have a hard time forgiving yourself.
So for all you regretful infidels, here are a few ways you can deal with your mistake.
Ask yourself why you did it in the first place
People cheat for all kinds of reasons and most of the time, don’t consider the full impact of their behavior. It’s easy to get caught up in the lust and the excitement and jeopardize things that truly matter. Understanding what happened is one thing; understanding why it happened can be more complicated. If you’re the cheater, you have to ask yourself some difficult questions.
More from YourTango: Dating Across Political Lines: 4 Tips To Make It Work
Were you unhappy in your relationship?
Was there something fundamentally lacking?
Have you been looking for a way out for a while?
Maybe you were never really attracted to the person in the first place. Maybe you were never planning on the relationship lasting very long and your infidelity is timed perfectly with the inevitable expiration date of your relationship. Maybe you’re just a heartless jerk- unlikely if you’re reading this column but I figured I’d throw it out there anyway.