It used to be that when you broke up with someone you probably never had to see them again. You would each go your separate ways and live separate lives. There would be those people who became friends with their ex's , but they were the exception not the rule. So time would pass and you would heal from the breakup , and eventually move forward by finding a new and more satisfying relationship. Now there is Facebook. Facebook provides us a way to peek into the lives of people who are beyond our everyday. It is called "Facebook stalking" or "creeping." You might have five minutes in the middle of your day, pull up Facebook and peruse the status updates of your friends. If you are still friends with your ex you may get a surprise while you are scrolling through the news feed. The guy who never changed his relationship status in the three years you were together, has now noted that he is in a relationship on his profile and has posted pictures of his new girlfriend. You then may go to his page and start poking around, looking for more info on this woman. You may even get the idea that he has known her for a longer time than you have been broken up. So, what do you do now? You might find yourself checking his page every day or trying to find out more information on his new girlfriend. As long as you are being obsessive about his life, you have stopped living yours and all of the healing you managed to do has disintegrated. /node/150657 Although you do not purposely stalk his profile, you will continue to get little reminders on your news feed of what he is doing. Maybe he is not dating anyone, but those little updates that he went to a ball game with his buddies or is at a family event will still keep him at the center of your mind. While he remains at the forefront of your thoughts, you will not be able to move beyond your previous relationship and will not be able to move toward a new one. Time and distance are the keys to moving on. When someone has been in your life for a long time, you get used to them and it takes a while to really engage in a life without them. If you continue to get updates on his life, there is not chance at getting time or distance to move beyond him. /node/148128 More breakup advice from YourTango: /node/51484 /node/133292 /node/49339 What is more important to you after your breakup? Is it to keep tabs on your ex while he moves on with his life, or is it to move on with your own life? If you want to keep tabs on him ask yourself why. What does it do for you to keep him on your mind? Are you afraid that if you really let go then he will truly be gone forever? Are you afraid that you will feel more alone if you do not have that reminder of him? Once you have asked yourself these questions, ask yourself again what is most important to you. Once you decide your life is what is most important, you can make the move to unfriend him, and face the uncertainty of a future without him. While you are at it, take his number out of your phone and delete his texts and emails. Maybe you will finally find out that you are strong enough to be on your own. /node/137100
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