Even though the question of who should pay for the first date (and in general!) has long been debated, we haven't gotten any closer to an answer that pleases everyone. While most ladies agree that if he asked you on the date, he should clearly pay for it, some men aren't as convinced.
Let me put this to rest. Yes, it's the chivalrous thing to do and as women, wanting to feel taken care of is part of our DNA. But there are a few other factors that no one is really talking about that I must put out there for all to see.
Here are three reasons why men should ALWAYS pay for dinner. Sorry, fellas!
1. The Amount Of Time We Need To Get Ready Is No Joke
Let's be real. Chances are you either took a quick shower, ran some product through your hair, threw on some clothes and BAM, you're ready. Or you may have even come straight from work and showed up in whatever you put on in the morning.
Even if there's a chance that you thought about what you're wearing, it probably wasn't that much of a big deal.
Do you know what it takes for a woman to get ready for a date?! After seeing us arrive looking fresh and beautiful, you probably fantasize that we woke up like this. Well, sorry to burst your bubble, babe, but it just ain't so.
Here's what our date night prep really looks like:
If I know I have a date at night, all prep begins in the morning. Not only do I have to make sure that my hair is washed and blow dried just right, I also have to put just the right product in it so it doesn't go rogue.
Don't even get me started on choosing the right outfit. It doesn't matter if I already have something planned because as soon as I hit my closet, how I feel that day will inevitably have me changing my clothes at least six times.
Which leaves my bedroom looking like a bomb went off in it, and if it isn't our first or second date and you might be coming home with me, I now need to clean all this sh*t up!
And speaking of sex (that is, if we totally hit it off on our date), I have to be sure my wax is fresh, but not too fresh (because, redness!). In the case of a bikini wax, timing is everything.
So don't even think about asking us out last minute.
2. It Costs A LOT To Look This Good
The second thing that most men don't think about, and most women won't actually admit to, is how much it costs for us to get ready. If I'm being honest, this is the most underappreciated and under-estimated thing when it comes to dating and relationships.
From a $30 mani/pedi to hitting the gym for over $100 a month, it costs a small fortune for us to look as good as we do. If you also add in the fact that we're getting this done about every two weeks (in addition to other expenses), we probably spend over $500 dollars just for the sake of impressing you.
If that isn't reason enough for you to pick up the tab, I don't know what is.
Now, not all women spend this much on their beauty regimens, but many do, and those with more money, spend a ton more than this! Add in a personal trainer, Botox, and all sorts of other extras, and guys, we're spending a lot on our dates. You just don't know it.
3. We Push Your Babies Out Of Our Vaginas. Yes, I Said It!
Consider this "the vagina tax". We go through agonizing cramps (not to mention hormonal crazes) every month all for the sake of bearing your children. We're forced to deal when our bodies start stretching and aching in ways we didn't even know were possible.
Oh, and labor. Any man who has ever witnessed a woman in labor holds a whole new respect for women in general. Am I right?
Gravity and sucking mouths and teeth have taken over our precious, once-perky boobs. It's almost as if our bodies have become weird science experiments solely designed for giving and maintaining life, making us feel completely alienated from ourselves in a deeply disorienting way.
Once this process is over, and we feel we've gotten it all back together as much as we can (but plastic surgery and personal trainers can only do so much), our hormones get even crazier!
Night sweats, missed periods, extra and super heavy periods (what?!), mood swings that put regular PMS to bitter shame—and yes, vaginal dryness—barely scratch the surface of what we endure for YOU.
So given all that we have to go through just to be the beautiful, heavenly creatures that we are, I think it's only fair for men to pay for dinner, and for us to graciously and gratefully accept with a demure, sweet smile that completely belies any and all of the above.
Kate Anthony works with Single Moms to weed through all the craziness of what this new life has to offer, and find within themselves the amazing, powerful and relentless love-goddesses that they truly are. For more information about how to work with her, visit her website and find her on Facebook and Twitter.