In my last article, I wrote about some of the reasons Single Moms are so awesome to date. I had a ton of positive feedback, primarily from Single Moms and Single Dads, but there was also some negativity from some guys out there who have dated some of us and boy was there heat around some of their comments!! I heard what they said (loud and clear) so I’m going to up the ante and put the responsibility back on us. There is a way we’ve been being out there Mamas and it’s not ok. It’s not ok with men and it’s not ok with the movement of Single Mamas who want to Rock this thing called life.
Here are 5 things we can do RIGHT NOW to turn this around and Rock Single Motherhood:
1. Leave your Baby-Daddy Drama at Home
When you are with your new man, he doesn’t want to hear about all the drama with your baby-daddy (more respectfully known as the father of your children). If you’re on a date, for God’s sake don’t even talk about it. Shush. Nope. Zip it. Uh-uh. Not a word. I don’t care that he hasn’t paid child support in 6 months. I don’t care that he’s an irresponsible shit-turd. He may be the biggest, most irresponsible horrible human ever to walk this lovely earth of ours, but your anger over it isn’t going to change it; it’s just going to make everyone else uncomfortable and make you look like a bitter woman. No one wants to date a bitter woman and my guess is, you don’t want to be a bitter woman either.
In all seriousness, I have known plenty of women who got the short end of the stick in the baby-daddy department (I thank my lucky stars for mine every day) and it really, really does suck. It’s painful, it’s frustrating, and it’s angering. However, as they say in certain circles, having a resentment is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die. So as you sit in your other relationships spewing bile about him, no matter how much he deserves it, you are only poisoning your own chances of moving on. Find your go-to person to whom you can pour it all out - your therapist or your best friend - so when you’re on a date and it comes up, you can truthfully say, “Things are kind of rough in that department right now but I’m dealing with it.”
Imagine the light that can shine from you when you are free of that baggage. And now imagine the kind of man you’re going to attract with that light…wowee, yes please!!
2. Don’t Introduce Your Children Until The Time Is Right