The good news is getting your ex back is perhaps easier to do than you thought. The bad news is it takes a lot of work not focusing on the other person: To change him, to be on top of what he's doing, who he's seeing and what you can do to stop him from doing so, to manipulate him, make him think of or want/miss us (though there are techniques to do so, in the long run it's not about any of this), but mainly about working on oneself.
I heard that a lot. Work on yourself; focus on yourself. I didn't really get the gist of what it meant — on the most substantive, intuitive level that is — until only the past two years or so after months of absolute heartache. It's about mind control, management of emotions, and cultivating self-esteem. (What Is The M3 System That Can Help Repair Your Relationship And Make Your Ex Love You More?)
I found the answer: There is only one way to get your ex back to you and to make yourself happy, self-sufficient, content and excited about life. To build your life separate from your ex and find it as a source of endless enjoyment and passion. To live life to the fullest. To love yourself first and foremost. To believe that you, for the sake of yourself, deserve to be loved and treated with utmost respect, no more and no less. You need to turn your life around to get the love you deserve, be it with your ex or with someone else presumably better.
If you're not happy being alone with yourself, there is little chance you will get on the reconciliation path with ease. Why? Because you need lots of peace of mind to keep yourself on track and sane during this trial and tribulation phase. And I'm sure you've tasted it yourself by now, when you mind is hooked and obsessed toward wanting to be with your ex. You'll be suffering and radiating so much neediness that it in turn will translate into an aggravating and imbalanced behavior that will repel him.
At one point I even hired a coach to help me deal with myself. Yes, you yourself is your number one enemy in reconciliation process. You are plagued with doubt and self-esteem issues, not even sure if you're worthy of love enough that your ex will want to go back to you. In your desperation, you're doing the very things that drive him away further. Only when you can conquer yourself, you can conquer the world (with him in it). That's the timeless message of all sages of all time.
The experience of a broken heart is a life-changing one: The one in which you are forced to grow up fast. Even if you don't get your lover back, you will come out of this a better and wiser person and be a better partner in your future relationship.