You can perhaps deal with all the issues naturally coming up during the split and the efforts of reconciliation yourself with the help of my forum for instance, but believe me there is no security like having a coach to wade through this soul-sucking mud together with. It's like having a supporter, a friend, a teacher and a sister who is an expert on relationship issues and who can be detached enough scrutinizing your relationship and both you and your ex from all different angles and as objectively as possible. Keep reading ...
It's not the same like talking to your friends or family. The common advice you hear from these people is: Move on, he/she's not worth it! The "move on" part is spot on but the maligning of your ex doesn't make you feel heard, doesn't it? It helps for a while, but then you realize you need real advice, not some pep talk from well-meaning people who care about us but has little value.
A coach will give you a new perspective, a different angle from which you can or should view things. This is incredibly powerful for shifting your perception and in the process your mood. They will help you identify your blind spots and work on them. They will empower you and pick you up when you are down in the gutter and can't seem to see any light up there.
They will also assign you projects to do to keep your mind on track and off him/her — the most important part of attracting your ex back. The less you think of your lover, the sooner you'll get him/her back. It sounds ironic and counter-intuitive, but you understand it when you are totally absorbed in the enjoyment and peacefulness of the being in the moment — just totally immersed in whatever task at hand.
Remember, we are never too busy not to think of our lovers and there are too many hours in the day/week/month not to have our mind thinking about them. It's a challenge. It's maddening.
It is hard. Super hard. Nobody is saying breaking up is easy to do. The obsession is simply debilitating and often leads to stalkish behaviors. Don't you always want to check his facebook page (if you haven't been blocked already) to know what he does, with whom, who posts on his wall, likes his posts, pics, who he's been talking to, etc.?
That is unhealthy. The more you care, think about and focus on him, the harder it is for you to move on. Moving on requires the least possible reminders of him and anything related to your relationship with him. Looking at past pictures you took together or reading his love letters don't help either. So bury all those behind you now!
I know it's scary to let go. But letting go isn't the same as giving up hope. I'm not telling you to foget any chance of reconcilliation. No, it's not about that. Letting go is just the unloading of everything that holds you back and prevents you from securing the peace of mind. So untie the knots already! Keep reading ...
Here are some ideas you can do to help you move on: