That is, if you even want him back when you're done!
Welcome to your breakup! It hurts like hell, doesn't it? There's nothing that stirs your equilibrium like a love lost. Your body just goes numb; this is the lowest low you've ever felt in your entire life. Everything's so gloomy, and you can't see past today. If you do it's all scary stuff ... a life devoid of meaning and happiness.
Here's one piece of advice that will help you heal faster and in the process, get him back (even though you probably won't want him at that point). Drop all that yearning and pining now, and just move on.
Yeah, move on.
Take it from me! Your mind can't do the work for you right now. It's so shaky and vulnerable, so even when you can't control it right at this second, you can at least know that this isn't the end. Far from it. Things will get better. When you hit rock bottom, the only way you can go is up, and I'm here to help you now.
I've been in your shoes: many sleepless nights, desperate dreams, days spent crying and curled up in bed wondering how you're going to survive with a heart so devastatingly crushed. The fear of extreme sadness is like nothing else you ever imagined or experienced in your life before.
If you've just broken up with your lover, don't waste as much time as I did suffering terribly. Get yourself together to hop on the self-growth journey that will make you a magnet to great lovers/relationship ... and your ex!
There's only one way to get your ex back to you and to make yourself happy, self-sufficient, content and excited about life. You must build your separate life from your ex and find it as a source of endless enjoyment and passion. Live life to the fullest. Love yourself first and foremost. Believe that you, for the sake of yourself, deserve love and someone who treats you with utmost respect, no more and no less. You need to turn your life around to get the love you deserve, be it with your ex or with someone else presumably better.
A coach will give you a new perspective, a different angle from which you can or should view things. This is incredibly powerful for shifting your perception and, in the process, your mood. They will help you identify your blind spots and work on them. They will empower you and pick you up when you are down in the gutter and can't seem to see any light up there.
Here are some coach-approved ideas you can do to help you move on.
1. Keep Yourself Busy
Avoid laziness. The idle mind is the source of all misery. This is the time for you to try new things or do things that you never thought you would have time to do. Force yourself, if you have to. You'll thank yourself later for having the tenacity.
2. Go Out With Your Friends
If you're a homebody, again, try being more outdoorsy. The sun and beautiful weather and landscape are really good to restore your mood. It's so much better than languishing in your sorrow at home watching endless TV and binging on calorie-dense snacks.
3. Work Out More
You release dopamine and endorphins, two chemicals responsible to your emotional well-being, when you exercise. And you get hotter too! Never underestimate the power of physical attraction to keep or attract a man again. Besides, whether or not you want to get your ex back, being physically fit and attractive is always a guaranteed self-esteem booster. You need lots of it after a breakup.
4. Surround Yourself With Beauty. Movies, books, music, art — anything that entertains you and takes your mind off him is recommendable.
5. Learn New Skills
Make a goal to master them within a time frame and commit to it. You strengthen your brain with every new skill gained, and it also improves your self-esteem and sense of well-being. When you occupy your mental faculty in a challenging task, you have little time to dwell on your breakup.
6. Avoid Him
And avoid any situation that might bring you face to face with him unless it's "business related." You think "bumping into him by accident" will make him want you more or will speed up the reconciliation process, but it's more often than not just creating a new cycle of hopelessness and desperation. You don't want to be a yo-yo gal. Actually, you become so much more attractive when he thinks — and knows — that you've truly moved on. I know it's true in my case.
7. Meet New People
Presumably people engaged in the activities or new hobbies you share. You can look at meetup.com for such shared activities.
8. Date New People
You're on a rebound, even though your heart isn't in it. Dating and experiencing transitional "relationships" are vital to your healing. Don't get too hot and heavy, though, because you're not ready for anything serious. Make sure the guys you're involved with are on the same page regarding speed. Go out and have fun with these gentlemen. Let them wine and dine you and treat you like a lady.
9. Try Affirmations, Self-Hypnosis, Yoga And Meditation
My clients report positive transformations from utter desperation to hope and new exciting life with self-hypnosis geared toward overcoming loss and moving on.
10. Be Grateful For The Experience
Don't blame him for the breakup. Acceptance is the key to peace of mind and moving on. When you blame, you will never get out of the self-destructive cycles and patterns that hold you back. I turned my life around after my breakup, and I've become a much better person through the experience. And now that I've truly moved on, I'm so happy with my life!
Have faith that everything will be fine eventually. When the universe throws you a lemon, turn it into lemonade.
I'd love to hear from you, please share your stories, and I will let you know how I can help you transform your life with or without him in your life.