Sometimes we are in a situation in which having a relationship is not our priority. It could be because that we have just recently been out of a long-term relationship ourselves or we are having enough on our plate. You don't think those aren't good enough excuses but they are!
After my the split from my husband of 4.5 years, it took about 4 years for me to feel really right about entering a new relationship with both feet. I've been analyzing my own unreadiness and this is for the same reason why many guys are scared of commitment: the fear of being stuck in a dysfunctional or mediocre relationship in which you will keep plowing since you have invested much in it knowing it won't make much difference in the end after all.
If you have been burned before, whether you realize it or not you'll be much more careful next time because the heart does get scared to get stung again. It really is a natural reaction to most people.
And it's the mediocre relationship one has to be most afraid of, it is the one in which it's too good to leave, but too bad to stay. You are stuck in your comfort zone and potentially waste years of your life. And at my age (I'm in my 40's), I don't have any more year to waste on waiting a relationship to run its course, especially since I'm still not giving up hope for a family.
Another thing is the obligations, expectations and responsibility of a relationship aren't the ones to be taken lightly because when one's heart isn't fully in it, the potential for drama and hurting the other person -and ourselves in the process- is high and real.
So, unreadiness is real. It's not just an excuse. Don't blast him for not being ready at this very moment.
Back to the question: will he ever be ready and when he is will he pick you instead of another woman? The answer is yes and yes, both CAN happen. My ex wasn't ready when we first met. He displayed every sign of emotional unavailability in the book but he didn't want to lose me so he made us a couple 1.5 years after we met and married me a year later.
So anything is possible.
But what if he doesn't?
If you are a high-value woman, you won't worry about these things because:
- You won't invest more than he does.
- You won't make him a priority when you are only an option to him.
- You will still be dating around or accepting dates as long as he's not ready to commit or call you a girlfriend.
- You are so irresistibly secure that any man who has a chance to spend a good amount of time with you and find your company enjoyable will have a very hard time to let you go. He will at least respect you so much that he won't be so much less inclined to make a pastime out of you. You'll be the type of woman any man seeks for commitment because you understand men and their fears and validate them so they don't have to resist you in any way, shape or form.
Is There A Cure To Emotional Unavailabilty?