I'm a writer/life & love coach specializing in reuniting couples and mending broken relationships. My writings and free tips/advice can be found in http://gettheloveyoudeserve.info/ and http://katarinaphang.com/
I'm also an author of He's Really That Into You, He's Just Not Ready, a guide on dating emotionally unavailable men (EUM).
My client Kellie just recently got back together with her ex and yet their relationship was still continually up and down, partly thanks to the family crisis both went through (him with his dad who suffers from cancer and her with her mother who was also diagnosed with cancer after they got back together and recently passed from an accident unrelated to her illness).
She took marriage off the table already when they got back together. They were taking a break again a few months later thanks to the crisis -she basically is ready to move on altogether and just focusing on her family- and throughout it all he kept bring up the marriage to which she didn't take so seriously.
So over last weekend he came up with a ring and asked her to marry him. She hasn't said yes, surprise...surprise! This is what she said:
"Katarina Phang, you will be the first to know! Ha. My thought is, look, he had me waiting around for marriage for 7 years. 7 YEARS. LOL. We have a few things to sort out first. I love him and this is all I ever wanted.
However, I'm full of a lot of emotions right now with the loss of my mother so suddenly and tragically, to be honest, myself and my family are my priority. I'm super busy flying back and forth to FL each month at least to help my dad deal with all the business dealings attached to this process we have to go through.
We haven't begun to even sort through things in the house on a basic level. It's just not my main concern right now. I think I need to be a little more together before I would finalize anything. Also, he is switching over jobs and that's a transition. I just feel like we have waited this long.
We have these priorities that I would like to feel less vulnerable about that I mentioned above. If it's meant to be, it will be. I'm not scared or rushed to " lock something in"........ I am confident the time will come when everything falls into place for me emotionally and in that moment, is when I want to accept. Free and clear to the extent it's possible.
We just want to do it right this time around. Make sense? Or absolutely crazy sounding!!!???? Lol.
That's just how I feel about it. I trust it's going to just happen when it is suppose to. If he can't wait for that and respect me wanting it like that, then he should head back onto the road. It's not all about him anymore after 7 years, he owes me this at a minimum. #goodthingscometothosewhowait as Katarina says: #highvaluewoman = you are not so easily replaced. Remember that.
When you truly believe that to your core being then there is no anxiety, fear, need to control a situation or outcome. They will wait. The alternative isn't one they are fond of as they have already made their little trip into the real world and have a full understanding of what's out there. You believe this completely when you call the shots. Not from a place of control or insecurity. From a place that's honoring you and what you need. Once you respect and follow what your instinct and mind tell you what you need, your needs are met and you can move from that place of complete fullness to a functional relationship where you work together. # respect4you. #youhavearrived "
This good news came yesterday. My very first client Chelsea that I interviewed for the Feminine Goddess and Enlightened Relationship monthly membership whom I always touted as one of the most successful Goddesses that I have given birth to (cause she gets it), as I predicted, got engaged.
This makes the 8th engagement in the past year.
She gushed in the support group (get my ebook to be included): "Aww thank you so, so much, everyone! I'm so touched and overwhelmed by everyone's wishes. It was absolutely amazing- we're vacationing in Jamaica right now and before we left, everyone at work and friends were all pretty much betting that he would do it on our holiday.
I dunno, it was just a feeling! He just kept telling me "I love you sooooo much" and would kiss me so tenderly, it just felt like he was ready - and then he would be quite distracted by messages etc. There were a few other clues which were quite obvious in hindsight but I just wrote them off in my head so I could drop my expectations as well ;).
But when it didn't happen the first couple of days, I just wrote off the idea and stopped thinking about it. Turns out he had the ring and had planned to do it on the trip, but didn't really know when or how he was going to do it - hence the delay.
So the night before, our resort was lit by moonlight and I was commenting on how magical it was... We were walking around the moonlight filled beach and he thought it was the perfect time to do it - but he didn't have the ring on him (back at the villa) so he couldn't do it. Anyways the next day after lunch, we walked back to the villa, and he just sat on the lounge chair on the deck, and pulled me towards him and held me. He asked me the question, but because I didn't think it was going to happen, I thought I mis-heard - so I said, "what?" He repeated the question again and I said, "really?" He nodded and pulled out the ring.
Turns out he'd been thinking about it for two months - he had asked my dad for permission when they were over 2 months ago. After he asked, he spent the next two months researching rings, speaking to friends and dealers, sourcing the stone from Geneva, then taking it for setting etc. He put in so much work and he's SO proud of it - keeps asking to look at it on my hand etc. Absolutely adorable <3"
To listen to what she has to say about her transformation in the Goddess Interview, get it here.