Is it realistic to hope for a soul mate?
One question I get asked often when a client comes to me for guidance in finding a romantic partner is “ am I aiming too high”? Is it really possible for me to find a soul mate or is that something only found in fairy tales.
After we have established that it is not only possible it is very worthwhile and can be one of the most fulfilling experiences a person can have the conversation turns to the HOW. How does one go about finding a soul mate?
I was privileged to have the experience this week of meeting with a couple I will call Judy and John. This soul mate relationship had come about in part because of the work I had done with Judy. She came to me a while back with a deep desire to have a soul mate partner. Judy also had a bucket of fears and doubts that it would never happen to her. In speaking with this couple about the amazing relationship they have John interjected that he would never have found Judy attractive before she had done her own personal growth work. If they had met earlier he might not have even noticed her. The law of attraction is not just about having a desire. If you want to attract a soul mate, you need to be the soul mate of your dreams!
We explored together the changes Judy had made on herself in our work together. This was the real “ HOW” of them finding each other and just as importantly being able to create a loving and long lasting soul mate relationship together.
Here were the highlights: Judy faced her fears and doubts and was able to shift her beliefs about herself and about men in a positive way. She looked at her own sabotaging behavior and slowly but surely stopped getting in her own way. It took her failing a couple of times with men she dated, which is sometimes the case.
Judy learned from those experiences what she no longer would tolerate and what she was worthy of having. She broke old patterns she had built up over the years that always got her into trouble and replaced them with new patterns based on self-love. She came to love herself and was at peace with who she was. After that she learned how to communicate lovingly and truthfully to the people in her life. Her coworkers, family and friends. This gave her the confidence to eventually, when she was ready, reveal her authentic self to men.
It was at this point that Judy was ready to meet her soul mate. She had become attractive on the inside! It just so happened that John had been doing his own work and preparing for a soul mate relationship as well. So he was ready for her and she was ready for him and they were ready to be in a soul mate relationship.
I have seen this happen enough times to know this is the path to a soul mate relationship. It doesn’t matter whether you meet on line, at a bar, at church, in the grocery store or are introduced by friends as these two were.
If you take the time and make the effort to look at your own beliefs, behavior and patterns and, are willing to make positive changes and learn new ways of engaging with a romantic partner, you will not only find your soul mate you will know HOW to have lasting love.
Wondering what you need to do to attract your soul mate? Is it even possible?
As an Ask YourTango Expert, watch as I answer this question below. And if I can help you, please don't hesitate to reach out! Just click my name at the top to come to my profile to learn more.