The Morning After
For many of my readers today is the Morning After Christmas. The day when all the hoopla that has been the focus of attention is over. There is often a mixed feeling of relief and let down coming together all at once.
Some cultures have addressed this issue by making a special Holiday to finish off the festivities. Boxing Day is the one I am familiar with, having been a part of an Irish family for many years in my first marriage.
I think it is a grand idea to stave off the mixed feelings and a much gentler let down from the high of Christmas Day.
There is a similar occurance in relationships after a big event has occurred.
It can be a big emotional or public event like a wedding or a funeral. It can be a special occasion such as Valentines Day, a graduation, promotion or one of those decade marking birthdays.
It can also be the kind of morning after that is private. You have just declared your love for each other, overcome a relationship issue lovingly or accomplished something meaningful as a couple.
Whatever the Event might be that is experienced it is important to have an awareness and intention for the Morning After.
This is the time most likely for relationships to experience that same kind of mixed feeling of relief and let down. A time when we unconsiously might sabatoug the positive outcome of the experience.
You have been building up to this moment in one way or another and now it is over. What do you do now!
Surprisingly enough this is the moment that often turns into a negative experience. You might pick a fight for no reason at all.
You might find yourself feeling critical of the other person or finding some fault with yourself and so begin beating up on yourself.
Often a nagging feeling of regret creeps in for what you didn't do. You could feel lost now that you no longer have that goal.
Here are some Relationship tips to address the Morning After Blues.
1. Plan some alone time. After a big event, be it personal or private, we all need time to regroup. Instead of doing this in a way that might feel alienating to others, be intentional about it.
2. Take time to acknowledge the event as something special to the relationship. It could be as simple as a conversation or a ritual that honors the experience.
3. Let go by feeling the gratitude for having had the experience and then move on.