This is the third and last installment in my series on Healthy Relationships. Last month I culled the insight gathered from those who wrote about what makes a relationship healthy, and gave you a basic recipe for a healthy relationship foundation. This week I am going to answer a couple of questions on the subject of Unhealthy relationships.
Here were the three most often questions asked on this subject.
1. What are the signs of an unhealthy relationship?
2. How can I avoid getting into one?
3. If my relationship is not healthy what can I do to turn it around?
I am going to address question number one in this message. The other two will be highlighted in the next two KAT FLASH messages.
I am going to begin with the need to use the recipe for a healthy relationship foundation I wrote about last month. You can’t know what an unhealthy relationship is without having self-awareness and a high regard for yourself. You can’t distinguish what part is yours in an unhealthy relationship without a willingness to take responsibility for your behavior and you can’t make the necessary changes to an unhealthy relationship without being able to communicate your own truth. With that foundation in place it is much easier to recognize the signs of an unhealthy relationship.
What seems important to me when noting the signs of an unhealthy relationship is to look at how you can pick up on a signs on a regular basis.
There is one sure fire way to tell if a relationship is not healthy.
If it doesn’t feel good to you then something is not right.
Your mind might tell you all is well. You might LIKE this relationship but when you tune into your own inner wisdom or body sensations you know something is off.
It sounds simple though I know it is not easy to do. Many of us have our sights set on being happy in our relationships so we ignore the warning signs. Sometimes it is because we are focused on a particular outcome. Sometimes we are afraid of rocking the boat. Sometimes our focus is on the other person and we are not paying attention to our own guidance system.
Whatever the reason, we ignore the feeling and then wonder why things go south or we are unhappy for no apparent reason. The funny thing is it is this very behavior that can lead to more unhealthy behavior! Until you can’t really tell what has caused the relationship to end up so off balance.
So this week just for fun do some detective work in the relationships that are most important to you. Tune into your own inner guidance. Pay attention to your own body’s wisdom. See if there are signs that something is not right. Be sure you are standing on solid ground with the relationship foundation recipe. Knowing the truth does set you free and is the first step toward having healthy relationships in all areas of your life.