Men don't have sexual ESP. Tips on how to communicate what turns you on and off in the bedroom.
What? How can I compare your new boyfriend to a dog? Just like with Pavlov’s method of ringing a bell and getting a dog to drool, it’s that simple to train your man to get your juices flowing.
You’d never expect a new puppy to understand basic commands like sit, stay and don’t chew a Jimmy Choo shoe (even though it sounds like chew), so why would you expect your new partner to know what he’s supposed to be doing in bed? I don’t care how much experience your new lover had with his ex-wife of 25 years. He may have figured out what made her moist when he made love to her, but that doesn’t mean it’ll turn you on.
Let’s go over a basic tenet of behavior modification, which is the act of creating change in someone’s actions by reinforcing the positives and punishing the negatives. In other words, giving your doggie a treat when he pees outside, and yelling at him for chewing your Choo. Now I’m not saying that you should give your man a bone (even though he probably will have one) when he licks your ear and plays with your nipples, but telling him that it turns you on lets him know that he’s on the right track. However, I don’t recommend yelling at him if you hate when he nibbles on your ear. A gentle whisper of “I’m not digging the bite marks” will do the trick.
The most extreme example of poor training of your lover would be to fake an orgasm. Whatever he is attempting to do down there that doesn’t excite you, like blowing on your clitoris or spanking your butt, needs to be addressed and not positively be reinforced by you screaming out how you just had the most intense orgasm. He’ll think he knows the secret to getting you off, and that the next time he does those things, you’ll have a mind-blowing orgasm. He needs training and you’re the only one who has the rulebook on what makes you tick.
Most importantly, you need to know how to make yourself have orgasms. You are the only one who knows if you need gentle circular motions on your clitoris and/or nipple pinching. There’s a certain amount of trial and error that needs to occur, and one person’s pleasure is another person’s pain. You may want to use a vibrator while he licks your clitoris, and he may have never turned one on. Communicate your needs – he’s not a mind reader. When he gets it right, praise him. You’re sure to get a good response.
Remember – there are no bad dogs, just bad trainers. Dogs want to please, and so do lovers. Check out KarenLee's channel for more great tips on sex, dating & everything in between. https://www.youtube.com/user/karenleepoter
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