The first kiss can determine everything. Here are some tips on being a magnificent kisser.
My mother always told me, "You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince." I thought she meant that it's a numbers game when it comes to finding the right man, but I now realize she meant the kiss part literally. You need to KISS a lot of men to find out if they are compatible smoochers before deciding on who should share your throne.
A recent Huffington Post article stated, "Past studies have also affirmed the idea that smooching is a way to vet future mates." A CNN Health report indicated that kissing is an important determiner in the process of mate choice. That first kiss has always been the major factor in whether I went out with a guy again. Sometimes I'd expect an average kiss and be pleasantly surprised by his smooth delicious lip locking. Unfortunately, there were other times when I expected an amazing make out session that ended with me completely grossed out by his lack of passion or the clueless nature of how he kissed. Taking it one step further, you can determine how selfish/generous, passionate/dull, hostile/sweet, or humorous/boring a man is simply by the way he kisses. Does he tease you with his tongue or leave his lips locked on yours with the excitement of a soap dish?
My first experience with kissing was very anxiety provoking. I was eleven years old at a coed over night camp. One morning, I overheard some kids saying that we'd be playing Spin The Bottle that evening. I was excited at the prospect of my first kiss, until I realized that I had no idea how to kiss. I went into panic mode and decided I would need to practice on something. The only thing I found was a can of bug repellent. I frantically rolled my lips onto the can. Later that evening, we played the game and although the bottle landed on a guy with braces, I managed to have a fun time.
I have experienced my fair share of make-out sessions — the good, the bad and the slobbery. I remember kissing my boyfriend, turned husband, on the floor in front of a burning fireplace. He stopped at one point to say, "I can kiss you for two weeks straight," and then we continued for at least another two hours. I have had instances where I couldn't stop kissing a guy even in public places like restaurants or taxis. Conversely, I've had horrible uncomfortable kissing sessions where I wasn’t sure if he was giving me a kiss or swabbing my throat for a strep culture. Furthermore, I'm a firm believer that if the guy can't kiss, he probably can't do a lot of other important things in the bedroom.
If kissing is so important, why don't we get lessons on the art of kissing? Etched in my mind is an extremely sexy scene from television's Boston Legal, in which Julie Bowen teaches Mark Valley how to kiss. He wonders why he's able to get first dates, but never the second. She says, "There’s a certain amount of gentility in kissing." He later says he doesn’t like when a woman's tongue goes into his mouth. She responds, "This is why you're the worst kisser in the history of the planet."
Here are three scenarios of the importance of being an magnificent kisser: Someone fixes you up with a great guy. You meet at a local restaurant on the first date. It's an enjoyable evening and the guy is kind of cute. You don't notice any red flags. You leave the restaurant and he walks you to your car. He leans in for a kiss.
He sensually presses his lips against yours and gently touches your tongue with his. He smells great and his breath tastes sweet. Your tongues do a little tango, and you feel a little jolt all the way down your body.
He holds your head between his hands and gives you a very passionate, sensual tasty kiss sliding his tongue into your mouth. You like his assertiveness, and you feel your heart race as you kiss him back with gusto.
He plunges his tongue into your mouth, swishes it around, drool drips from the sides of his mouth. His saliva gets all over your lips, as his teeth knock awkwardly against yours. You feel like a St. Bernard has just slobbered all over you.
What can you do to improve your kissing ability? Here’s the most important tip to giving her the kiss that will make her melt. It’s a dance. Follow her lead, start slow and tune into the pace of your partner. Taste her tongue and lips as if you were savoring a piece of your favorite pie. Mimic her movements and mirror the way she touches your teeth and gums. Be playful, sensual, and romantic. If you put your tongue in her mouth, and she follows your lead, you’re on the path to inheriting the throne. Is the first kiss really that important? You bet your regal lips it is!
More dating coach advice on YourTango:
like us on facebook
If you 'like' us, we'll LOVE you!