A 10-Step Guide To Flirting With A Man Of Any Age

"Why don't you come up sometime and see me?" Did Mae West brazenly utter those words? Gasp! Countless articles have been written on the rules of dating and she probably broke every one of those rules with that flirtatious question. Was she too bold? Too aggressive? Doesn't she know how to play the game?

Flirting has somehow become wrong. It has become a lost art.

Why is mastering the skill of flirting a good thing if you're trying to get a date? The answer: Because men like confident women! This is the most common theme younger men say attracts them to older women. They're tired of always being the aggressors. They like women who are self-assured and know what they want. Flirting isn't easy but the rewards are great.

The act of flirting can dramatically increase your chances of getting asked out on a date. At the very least, if the guy you've flirted with isn't available, he'll still find you entertaining and remember you in the future.

I once flirted with a gorgeous guy who turned out to married. At the end of the evening, he asked if I'd consider dating his best friend who had just finalized his divorce. Flirting is a great opportunity to let your personality shine through. Here are 10 steps to becoming an expert flirt:

1. Say hello to a stranger every day. This may seem easy but it can be quite intimidating. The exercise of smiling, making eye contact and greeting a total stranger may seem completely foreign to someone who hasn't done this in the past. Ever since learning about "Stranger Danger" in grade school, we were taught not to make contact with strangers. The simple act of saying hello to new people will brighten your day and those you greet.

2. Give lots of compliments. Compliment a co-worker, friend or stranger by saying something unexpected and nice. If you aren't able to leave your home, try saying a positive statement to someone on the phone. This is a good practice technique, which may yield a side benefit of getting your cell phone bill lowered since you were so sweet. Watch and listen to the reaction you receive from that person. Keep reading ...

More flirting advice from YourTango:

3. Introduce yourself to an unknown person. This can be anyone unfamiliar to you: your server at a restaurant, your grocery cashier, a bus driver. Make sure you smile and look the person right in the eye as you say, "Hi, my name is KarenLee. What's yours?" I know it sounds like a line from the musical "Gypsy," but it made her a remarkably successful flirt so give it a try.

4. Chat with a stranger. Go to a bar, restaurant, gym or any social gathering place and chat with a stranger. Talk to someone sitting at a coffee shop or strike up a conversation with a girl in a hair salon. The more comfortable you are with this step, the easier it is to start up a conversation with a man you are interested in getting to know.

5. Feel comfortable to approach someone. You are now ready to approach someone you'd like to potentially date. This can take place anywhere: a bar, your favorite grocery store, the dog park or the car wash. Be ready at all times so you don't kick yourself later about letting the guy get away. Once you've found your target, make friendly eye contact and give him a big smile. He's bound to respond positively.

6. Make your move! Walk up to that person and say something relevant about him or your surroundings. You can comment on the weather. You can discuss something on TV. You can even pretend to be interested in the sports team on his hat. Bring up any subject that will get his attention. Make sure to use great eye contact and give him your full attention.

Do not look at anyone else or pick up your cell phone. If he indicates disinterest by turning away or grunting a one-word answer, move on to the next guy. I once walked up to a group of guys in a club and boldly asked, "Which one of you guys want to dance with me?" I ended up dating the brave lad for over a year.

7. Keep the conversation light and flowing. Tell a joke and respond to his attempts at humor. Ask a question; then shut up and listen! This may seem obvious but everyone likes to talk about his/her self or voice an opinion. If you listen intently and respond with a nod or smile, he'll feel special. If he shows you pictures of his kids or dog, you know you've captivated his interest. Those are a man's treasures and he wouldn't bother bringing them out if he didn't care to impress you.

8. Make body contact. Touch his arm, shoulder or hand. If you get really bold, you can brush your leg up against his. This tiny gesture will indicate you're interested in him as more than a friend. This will help keep you out of "The Friend Zone." If he returns the gesture, you're on the right path. (I wouldn't recommend grabbing his crotch — that's a bit too flirtatious.) Keep reading ...

9. Keep the conversation short, sexy and sweet. You want him to look forward to your next meeting. Find out if he's in a relationship. If he's available, tell him you need to leave but would love to see him again. If he hasn't asked for your number, think Mae West and say, "Here's my cell, call me sometime and we'll get together."

I once flirted with a guy at a bar who was waiting for his date to show up. I left him my card, and off handedly said, "If your date doesn't work out, give me a call." He called me the next morning and we went out that evening. He said he was impressed with my self-confidence and couldn't wait to see me again.

10. Give him a sweet goodbye. Get up and shake his hand, give him a quick hug or, if you're comfortable, a light kiss on the cheek. Tell him how happy you are to have met him and say good-bye.

A 10-Step Guide To Flirting With A Man Of Any Age

Read on to become an expert at flirting and become a self-assured woman.

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